My wife suggested I do lunges as an exercise to get fitter during quarantine.

That sounds ...like a big step.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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When people ask me if i've always been in the IT industry, i tell them "No, i used to be a diesel fitter."

"I worked at a factory that made women's undergarments, and i stood at the end of the line. Every time a pair came down, id put them on my head and say dees'l fit'r."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5L1mm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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What does a Mexican carpet fitter usually shout as he's starting a new fit?

Underlay, underlay!!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwolve378
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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When I went to buy comfy shoes, I heard the fitter mimic me as he went to retrieve them, "I need some comfy shoes. Wah wah!"

The shoes he brought were indeed comfy. But I can't get over the fact that I was moc-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Why is a carpet fitter so good at dancing?

He's always cutting the rug

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Why didn't they let the hat-fitter on the boat?

He was too excited about cap-sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlienRooster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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What do spanish carpet fitters put under their carpets?

Underlay underlay!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kryptic_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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How does the Spanish carpet fitter get his workman to hurry up?

Underlay! Underlay!

Xpost: Jokes

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchgebb
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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My uncle always said "when one door closes another door opens"

Great guy,terrible kitchen fitter.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nnmgRandomness
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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If you pay for your kitchen remodel with fake bills...

You’re counterfeiting the counter fitter.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eliza_Swain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My friend wondered why only the secret service visited his business and no customers...

I suggested maybe his business name should be "Kitchen Surface Installers" instead of "Counter-Fitters"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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On a cabinetmaker's truck:

Counter Fitters

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ponderingfox
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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My mom was telling me about one of her co-workers...

This particular co-worker claims that he goes to the gym all the time, however he never looks any skinnier or fitter, according to my mom.

Without missing a beat, I offered my opinion on the matter: "It sounds like his routine is ... not working out."

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s317sv17vnv
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2016
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Working construction right now, just came up with this

How do you know if the guy who remodeled your bathroom is a phoney?

He's a skilled counter-fitter.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeyowenCt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
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My Dad's favorite joke

Two men die and go to heaven. The first man walks up to the pearly gates, and St. Peter says, "In order to get into heaven, you must have had a manly job on Earth. What was your job?"

The first man says, "I was a diesel fitter."

St. Peter looks confused, but says, "I don't know what that is, but it definitely sounds manly. You can go in."

As the first man walks through the gates, the second steps up to St. Peter. He again says, "In order to get into heaven, you must have had a manly job on Earth. What was your job?"

The second man says, "I worked at the department store in the women's underwear department."

St. Peter says, "Well, that's definitely not manly. I don't think I can let you in."

The man gets very upset and says, "What about that guy you just let in?"

St. Peter says, "He was a diesel fitter!"

The man says, "I know! We worked in the same department! I would sew up the underwear, and he would put them on his head and yell 'DEEZ 'LL FIT HER!'"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kibasoul
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
🚨︎ report

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