Terrorizing friends with ice fishing puns
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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Fishing for puns

I was going to write a fishing pun, but couldn't find the right line... I asked a mate for help, but that turned into a debait... I tried casting my mind back to when I last heard a fishing pun, but that didn't reely work... If you're also hooked on puns and can help me out, I'd love to sea what fishing stories you can drag up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunnyGifts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
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For fly fishing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DRAWKWARD79
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What do you call it when you catch a fish on every cast while deep sea fishing?

A-fish-in-sea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyMadeThis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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A man is out ice fishing, but not having any luck. But he sees a guy across the lake pulling out fish after fish.

So the man goes over and says β€œI’ve been watching you catch so many fish today, but I’m getting nothing. What’s your secret?”

The other man says β€œMffffmmm mmmm mfffmmmm mmmmm”

The first man says β€œWhat?”

The other man spits something into his hand and says β€œI said, you gotta keep your worms warm!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I used to love fishing with my son...

Oh well!! I guess I have to find something else to use as bait now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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What did the lawyer use when he went fishing?

De’bait’!

or, alternate punchline:

Bating tactics!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ms__Brightside
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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The guy who lost the fishing competition was really upset.

He was totally out of line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/letsgetrandy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I bet you think Russians use fishing rods.

But no, Nyet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilweasel72
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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The Minecraft fishing rod enchantment β€˜Lure’ is just its version of the enchantment β€˜Efficiency’.

Or rather, E-fish-in-sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VGMemeBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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*sad cat fishing noises*

I just saw an ad for a dating app before Sam Smiths, I Want Something to Die for, song. Guess that’s the after effect for using dating apps, who knew

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.

Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I tried fishing with Eminem today

It didn't go too well as he kept on dropping the bass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AttemptsMade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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Fishing saved me

Fishing saved me from becoming a pornstar, now I'm just a hooker

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Griffin031
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Why didn’t Tom Petty like fly fishing?

The wading is the hardest part.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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My buddy invited me to go fishing with him.

But when he told me the fish were biting I said, β€œheck no!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PulkPush
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Went fishing with a friend that wanted to throw rocks into the lake

I told β€˜em we should just skip it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/F1F2F3F4F5F6F7F8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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My strange friend always baits his hooks with okra when fly fishing...

He's really into podcasting!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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After Ahab injured himself in a fishing accident, his friends sent these.

β€˜Get whale soon’ cards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Virtual-Prime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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One time my friends really wanted me to join them for a fishing excursion. I didn't want to at first but eventually joined them...

I am afraid that I succumbed to pier pressure.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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My uncle is really good at fishing. He always knows exactly what kind of worm to put on his fishing hook, in order to catch the desired kind of fish.

One might say he is a master baiter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Two buddies decide to go ice-fishing one day.

So they get their parkas and snow boots, fishing rods and ice auger, and everything else they need, and go out to find a good spot.

Just as they start to drill a hole in the ice, they hear a great booming voice from above: "There are no fish here!"

"What was that?"

"It sounded like the voice of God!"

"Well let's try somewhere else."

They move away a bit, and settle down to try again. But before they can even start to drill, they hear it again:

"There are no fish here!"

So they pack up and move even farther down the ice. Surely this will be a good spot. But just as they pull out the auger, the voice booms out again:

"Listen you guys, I'm the manager of this ice rink, and I'm telling you there are no fish here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeppermintBiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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My friend and I went fishing. He cast out first and got a bite. So he reeled in a trumpet. Then he cast out in a different area, got a bite and reeled in a clarinet.

After he cast out the third time, I said "maybe you'll reel in a bass soon!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I don't know why my fishing buddy is worried about the Coronavirus

He never catches anything

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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What did one fishing pole say to the other?

Reel recognize reel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What kind of music do you listen to while fishing?

Something catchy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/98al
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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My dad says to me,"Hey,let's go fishing! We'll take the canoe."

I told him,"It's actually pronounced"gnu."The "g" is silent!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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What's the sign say outside the fishing hole in Chernobyl?

Gone. Fission.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbt711
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I tried using an old math book as bait when fishing

Turns out that math wasn’t the best topic for De bait

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charlo64
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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My fishing cat catfished me by fishing a cat instead of fish.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/p14082003
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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What's the best way to watch a Fly Fishing tournament ?

Live stream

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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My friend ties fishing line to the zipper of his bitches then throws homemade lures into the water...

He says fly fishing is great fun!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...

I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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My son asked me why I call him Julius whenever we go fishing

That's cause he's a row-man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robot-kun
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I bought some minnows to go fishing, but they gave me earthworms...

it was the old bait and switch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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Son tied a fist toy to my fishing net

I dont get the punchline but he's smiling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I get asked all the time why I enjoy fishing

I tell them, "just for the halibut"

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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My friend was very irritated because his fishing pole broke and he had to wind up the fishing line manually.

He was being a reel crank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Brother: "Why do we have a mouse-shaped fishing lure?"

Me: "So you can catch a catfish."

We were using my late dad's tackle box from the 90's. Only logical explanation is that I was controlled by his spirit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessBukowski
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Me and my dad went fishing and didn’t lose any gear. However we found a free net.

I guess you could say it was a net gain

Based on a true story

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pancakesnarfer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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A friend of mine, who is always up for pranks, asked if I wanted to go fishing with him
  • I don't know, whats the catch?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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A British mathematician was fishing for complements.

He was a right angler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellsatrjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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What did the lawyer use when he went fishing?

Debate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ms__Brightside
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?

Something catchy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samurai-Salty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?

Live stream.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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