The key to falling asleep quickly is to sleep at the edge of the bed.
I'm writing a book about falling down stairs...
It's a step by step guide.
I recently read an article about how a woman was killed by a falling bookcase.
Morticians say that she only had her shelf to blame.
Did you know Aaron Burr had a brother who was always falling over?
Wanting to impress my son at the zoo today, I revealed to him, "Used to be best friends with a giraffe, but we had a falling out." Puzzled, he asked, "What happened?" I shook my head, "I don't know really, but I felt..."
"He was always looking down on me!"
Why does my motorcycle keep falling asleep?
Falling in love I beautiful
As a leper, I feel like I’m falling apart.
I just lost my left leg.
Edit: now my right leg.
Edit: now my left arm.
It's too bad about the guy that overreacted after falling into a lens-making machine.
He truly made a spectacle of himself.
Just wrote a book about falling down the stair case
It's a step-by-step guide
How does a lamb, a drum, and a snake sound falling off a cliff?
Baa-dum-sss.
(Told by literally my dad)
What sound does a piano make falling down a mineshaft?
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
I broke my upper arm falling down the stairs.
It's quite humerus if you think about it.
Falling from 3 floors isn’t that bad…
But 4 floors is another story.
I walked into my house after slipping and falling in my garden...
My son noticed that I had brown all over my shorts.
Son: “What happened, dad?”
Me: “Well, son, I appear to have soiled myself.”
Some days you feel like falling apart.
My kid’s baby teeth are falling out
This means that the kid is getting closer to adultooth
What did the father say to his falling son?
Son, you've got potential
Do you see the video of Sean Connery on Zoom with the books falling on him?
He said " Sho Shorry, only got myshelf to blame "
What do you call a prisoner falling down stairs?
Condescending, condescending.
What did the mushroom say as he was falling off of the cliff?
A falling tree always sounds like a dog
Did you hear that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards had a huge falling out because Mick wouldn't stop speaking in broken Spanish?
When asked about it in an interview, Mick confirmed that "The Rolling Stones gather no mas"
what did the flat earther say before falling from a rocket onto the ground?
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.
At least tomorrow isn’t Friday the thirteen... yikes!
My friend bet me a subway sandwich that I couldn't walk on a tightrope without falling. He was right.
Heard about the Librarian who fell victim to falling bookshelves?
Why did the unicycle keep falling down?
Falling-down drunk sailors...
... are absolutely ship-faced!
What does the horse say after falling?
“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up”
What do you call it when a light bulb is falling into a trash can?
What did the mom tomato say to the baby tomato that was falling behind?
My bike keeps falling over
I can't stand it when that happens
Good news everybody! The gas prices are falling.
Wife: When will the rain stop falling!
Me: When it hits the ground.
"Did you hear about Bob falling into the well?"
"Oh my, how did that happen?"
"He didnt see that well."
I have written a new book called "How to Survive falling down a staircase”
.........It is a step by step guide
Edit: oh my god wow, thank you for the silver!
Did you hear about the man who was crushed by a falling statue?
He died of an art attack.
The road sign said “Watch for Falling Rocks”
I checked the time and thought, “Ok fine, but I only have 5 minutes.”
I met a magical little man who couldn't carry around his pot of gold because his fingers kept falling off.
I've just written a book about falling down a staircase
It's a step by step guide
What do you call a smart-ass prisoner falling down the stairs ?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call the sound of a piano falling down a mineshaft?
Why does the cycle keep falling down?
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