A Man In a Ski Mask Walks into a Bank, and Pulls out a Coffee Cup at the Bank Teller.

The Bank Teller Goes: " Are you Trying to Mug me?! "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Powershroom64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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A man takes his seat at a football world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.

MAN: "Who would ever miss the world cup final?"

GUY: "That was my wifes seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."

MAN: "That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"

GUY: "No...They are all at her Funeral!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Did you know that being an omelette chef at a ski resort is one of the most stressful jobs in the world?

Everyone has such high eggspectations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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So i made this during the 2014 world cup, and thank God Germany won
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illumi_nazi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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man remember when we got knocked out of the world cup, shit wasn't fair..

They made us play against Trinidad AND Tobago

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teakilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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The result of Germany vs South Korea in World Cup
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Future_Banner
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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I opened a Concession Stand at the World Cup selling Vietnamese food, but apparently it wasn’t very authentic.

So I called it FIFA Faux Pho.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheProcesSherpa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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World Cup!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/small_big
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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My parents were watching the Women's World cup last night

My mom saw a player that was particularly androgynous and asked my father "Is she transgender? She looked like Caitlyn Jenner."

My father, without taking his eyes off the game responded "No, she's trans-jenner."

πŸ‘︎ 741
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drfunkenstien014
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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Noone will be getting sick at the World Cup now.

It seems like there isn’t any Germanymore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theawesomenachos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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The World Cup is always exciting to watch.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ulfer_twoeyes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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It’s always an exciting time to watch the World Cup.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ulfer_twoeyes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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Since moving to Finland I’ve become addicted to winter sports

It started off with sledging which has finally lead to ski jumping. It’s a real slippery slope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stiltonfondu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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I'm still not quite sure I get all the hype about the World Cup...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tynnyfer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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Russia managed to win the first match of the World Cup after Putin a lot of effort.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shyggar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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So we're sat watching the world cup...

And my 9 yr old little brother's trying to learn the players' names and after he's told Ashley Young's name, he goes:

"what about when he's seventy? Will he be Ashley Old?"

I'm proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeyonar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
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I'm watching the World Cup

Not because I enjoy soccer. I’m just doing it for the kicks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murphy223
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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A perfect World Cup sick day excuse

Need to take a sick day, Woke up with a fifa and think its because of too much russian around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joconyc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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I drew Denmark and Switzerland in a world cup sweepstake.

They aren't the best teams but their flags are a huge plus.

https://i.imgur.com/vrsdL2Y.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glurt
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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World Cup top scorer so far

Is Owen. Ans really who is that guy? All i know is that so far i have hear Owen goal for 5 different teams

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaroldFinch97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Coming Summer 2014 at the World Cup
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikiekwoods
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2014
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During the World Cup

During the pre-game, when showing the teams about to compete:

>Dad: Oh man, those guys are gonna be slip-slidin' all over the place!

>Me: Why? Is it raining?

>Dad: No, its Greece.

goddammit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sinisgood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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World Cup Soccer goalies are far more handsome than their teammates.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quentinnnnnnnnn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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Do you ever wonder what would happen if every person in the world all jumped at once?

All I know is the human race would really be going up in the world.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mightypeter3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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With the World Cup in Full Swing

I texted my 13 year old nephew about tonight USA v. Ghana game.

"Do you think we're Ghana win?"

"Are they ghana give us a chance?"

He was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameIdeas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
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Oof
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/m07815
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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My dad said this gem during the Argentina World Cup game

Lionel Messi had just scored and my dad didn't know who it was so my brother said "Wow that was Messi Dad." to which my dad responded "I don't know, I thought it was pretty clean"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hashtagswagfag
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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Watching the FIFA World Cup with my dad

Watching a Football/Soccer game with England playing.

The camera pans to a close up of a girl wearing sunglasses with the England flag for lenses.

(England flag: http://imgur.com/mcK3A0v)

Dad: "She's a bit cross eyed. Such a shame."

I stare at him briefly for 2 seconds, then back at the screen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jypo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
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Watching the World Cup with the family.

We were watching the Germany-Portugal game yesterday. At some point, one of the Germans tries to score but misses.

Sister: "Damn, that was close."

Me: "No, that was MΓΌller, Klose is on the bench."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BelgianRockfan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
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Received this text while watching Spain v Chile in the world cup. He's not a dad yet but I think he will be ok when he is one.

[18/6 21:05] Toddy: Chile are just too hot to handle [18/6 21:05] Toddy: Sorry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kid01-1153
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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What with Germany currently winning the world cup

"I guess Germany is scoring brazilians of goals"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XerxesDGreat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2014
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World cup dadjoke.

While watching the Spain - Holland match at the world cup, my dad dropped this...

Dad: What game is on next?

Me: Chile Australia.

Dad: Not it's not.

Me: What?

Dad: It's warm in Australia not chilly.

Me: sigh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GRI23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
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Dad hows Iran doing in the world cup I got them in the office sweepskate...

They ran and ran and ran!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CormacD123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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watching the USA world cup match

I wonder if the other team is ever Ghana score.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
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What my dad texted me when i said the US was gonna have a tough time in the world cup

Have faith! We are ghana win!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/calmacil
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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