After WWII some of Hitler’s extended family was still alive. How many Hitlers could still be alive today?

I’m not certain, but I believe there are FΓΌhrer than there used to be!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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My extended family uses too much profanity.

They should really stop cousin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Logic_and_Memes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2016
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A man is sitting in the hospital with his newborn baby when his own father walks in.

Father: "So, how does it feel being a dad?"

Son: "It feels good. I'm a bit scared of course, but so excited at the same time. How does it feel being a grandfather?"

Father: "It feels pretty great. You've always been a good son and I've been patiently waiting for this special moment. There's something now that I have to give you."

The son watches curiously as his father pulls a large tome out of his backpack with exquisite text on the cover: 'The Big Book of Dad Jokes'.

Father: " For generations these sacred texts have been passed down through the patriarchs of our family. My father gave it to me when you were born and now, as a new father yourself, I bestow it to you. With this book you will have all the knowledge needed to become a truly great Dad."

Son: " Wow, Dad, this is amazing! Truly! I'm... I'm honored."

The father smiles as he extends his arm out to shake his son's hand and says,

"Nice to meet you, Honored. I'm Dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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So I heard you live in an old funeral home...

My mom and her boyfriend recently bought an old funeral home and are renovating it to turn it into a house. While out to dinner with some extended family, my mom's boyfriend's 2nd cousin says, "so I heard you live in a funeral home.. that's interesting" to which his aunt replies, "yeah, we've all been DYING to come visit."

Classic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pennyrae
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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My grandfather recently passed away. Here is his go-to joke.

Whenever we would all have an extended family dinner, he would always look up with a grin on his face and say "this is the best dinner I've had all day! Every. Time.

My grandfather was a man a few words. But dang it he was good at making the entire family groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/airborneaaron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2015
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My dad and steamed fish (not really a dad joke; just my dad's thing)

Chinese dude here.

Every time we have dinner with extended family, we'll have a whole steamed fish as one of the courses.

My dad will usually be the person to cut up and distribute the fish among the family.

Every time he does that, he'll use the spoon and fork to make the fish mouth "thunder, thunder, THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" before cutting up the fish followed by this shit-eating grin around the table. No one above the age of 14 laughs.

The younger cousins find this funny and that's probably why my dad keeps doing it every freaking time.

Just my dad's thing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MechBear
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
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A wild dad joke appeared while I was at a museum...

I was touring a natural science museum with my extended family, and happened to pause at a large prehistoric fish skeleton. While reading the information about the specimen, I saw a new dad walk by with his wife and two very young children. He paused with his daughter and told her, "They call this fish the sea-rex!".

I hope that father goes far.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/armistice90
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
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My grandpa dropped this on my grandma/ family.

My extended family was all at my grandparents house talking about visiting the family burial plot on my great grandmas birthday (she passed years ago).

This is when grandpa said he sold his burial plot. Grandma looked at him a little confused and surprised because they were going to be buried next to each other.

Grandpa smiles and says, "What? Till death do us part. After that you're on your own!"

About a minute of laughter ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2-cents
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2014
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