If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
They were discussing the Three Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River, the worlds largest hydroelectric dam.
My wife walks in and asks, “Is that the Hoover Dam?”
Me: “No, it’s the Three Gorges Dam in China.”
Her: “Oh, I guess all dams just look alike.”
Me: “Honey, don’t be a dam racist!”
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape
Did you see the headline that Genetic Engineers are experimenting with odd combinations of animals in order to come up with new species? This article was talking about people trying to combine a bull with a possum.
While the scientific community is responding with skepticism, I think it's a possum-bull.
"You're not very plane and Boeing as I thought you'd be."
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Always use the right tool for the job.
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A hammer is the right tool for any job.
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Anything can be used as a hammer.
My TA and someone were talking about a bunch of electronics stuff, and then then got to transformers, and I told the TA, "I tried to start studying transformers, and it looked easy at first, but it turns out they're more than meets the eye."
He started to explain why transformers could be difficult and then once he realized the pun his expression changed to sheer disappointment in both me and himself.
Me: Got some engineering stuff to do.. Dad: (FAR TOO ENTHUSIASTICALLY) I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU LIKED TRAINS!!!!
A friend of mine was trying to decide what he should ask for as a graduation present. He said, " I should ask for a really cool soldering iron!" To which I replied, "A cool soldering iron doesn't seem very effective."
We were doing a lab using diesel engines.
"Once the fuel rack has been opened, the amount of fuel injected should be sufficient to keep the engine running under its own steam. Or even diesel."
He and the other prof then just start giggling.
Teacher: "Anyone know what's holding them together?"
Student: "Suction?"
Teacher: "No. That answer sucked."
Groans and chuckles come from all corners of the room.
EDIT: golding
He was talking with some other students, and one of them said:
"I saw some deer driving around yesterday"
Teacher: "The deer were driving around? That's amazing!"
Chuckles ensued.
Prof: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "Its where you get steel wool!" Lecture students: groans/laughs
https://i.imgur.com/kUlzC2l.jpg
The wife can't make me buy a couch anymore, we got a perfectly good one!!
Friend: What kind of orange is that? Me: A navel orange? Friend: So how is that different from an army orange? Me: ...
Dad via text: Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Me: I think this might be the first time you've sent me a new joke in several months. Please bring back the old jokes...
