A darker one my 10 year old dropped on me... (possibly triggering)
She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.
Hey Dad, you ok?
Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.
"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
What did the buffalo say when he dropped his kid off at school?
I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.
This is because concrete floors are really hard.
My father just dropped off a wok he didn’t need.
He texted me to warn me that it was an old school, analog wok, not an Ewok.
A massive telescope dropped on my head yesterday....
I was seeing stars all night.
I dropped my watch in the toilet!
It’s a really shitty time now
I lost a few digits recently when something heavy dropped on my foot. Today I got prosthetics for them.
Comment below if you’d like to see photos of my faux toes.
What does a white hat dropped into the Red Sea become?
I wish my family wouldn't make such a big deal over not picking up dropped ice cubes.
It's just water under the fridge.
My sister, the biologist, was studying cell division when she dropped her microscope on my toe.
I just dropped my phone in the bath
I felt so bad when I dropped my toothpaste.
A surgeon told me a story about how he dropped a tool into a patients stomach once.
My wife dropped a tofurkey on the ground
I said it's now called a tofloorkey
I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...
So there were 6 of us...
With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)
There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".
Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"
The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.
Best day of my comedic life
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
I accidently dropped grandma's ashes into my fog machine.
My wife was walking downstairs with the laundry, and dropped it when she missed a step.
When I dropped my top-of-the-line Microsoft laptop on the asphalt, I figured it was ruined
Turns out I had barely scratched the Surface.
My daughter just dropped a dad joke that made me super proud.
We're celebrating my daughter's 4th birthday party today. She puts her giant number 4 balloon on her head, turns to me and says "Look daddy, it's a four-head!"
What do you call cream cheese that's been dropped?
I was drinking and dancing at this club for hours and hours when I dropped my watch
I accidentally dropped one of my Bach CDs
Unfortunately, I baroque it.
I heard once that going down a hill, a bloke tripped with a coffin, and dropped it
He went into a chemist, and said, ‘I need something to stop my coffin’
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
What did the old man tell the monkey that dropped a bar of gold ?
I dropped a piece of ice, and it slid out of reach. I decided to let it be.
It’s just water under the fridge.
I recently dropped and broke a 'shatter-proof' ruler
My disappointment is immeasurable
Grocery delivery just dropped off this huge onion.
Picture of onion
I don't know what to do with it. I am going to cry.
That is so not appealing. I am left fuming. I may go into a vegetative state.
We were moving some boxes to my son's car, when he dropped a Scrabble game and the letters scattered everywhere. So I asked him...
"What's the word on the street?!"
I dropped some ice making drinks today...
Kicking the ice under the fridge my wife gave me a dirty look...
"Can you forgive me?" I ask.
"Of course" she replies
"Well, I guess thats water under the Fridge then..."
I dropped my steak on the floor
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
My friend was changing a tire when he dropped the car on his foot.
Dad dropped this one on me over the phone today
Dad: Have I ever told you that story about my dad?
Me: Which one?
Dad: The only dad I have!
A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...
I dropped my phone in the lake...
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
What did the dad buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off to school?
"So you stood there and watched while I dropped all of the laundry?"
"Yep, I watched it all unfold."
What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off at school?
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