My wife said she should get an award for breast feeding the baby.

I said Iโ€™d nominate her for the SAG awards.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RootbeerDreams
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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I wasn't sure how to re-build our fence when it started sagging

So I checked r/dadjokes, to see how other people repost

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/voip_geek
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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Dinner was uncomfortable after this one

An aging woman goes to see a doctor about her sagging skin. The doctor offers her 2 solutions: a cream she'd have to apply every night, or a more permanent solution.

She wants the more permanent solution, so she asks what that would entail. He says she woukd get a key put into the back of her head that shoukd would turn when she wanted tighter skin. She liked the idea, and had the key put in.

A few weeks later, she returns to the doctor.

"Is it not working," the doctor asks.

"Its working fine," she replies.

"Then what appears to be the problem?"

"I've started to get these bags under my eyes."

"Ma'am, those bags are your breasts getting pulled up."

"Oh," she says, "so this isn't a beard I'm growing?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thyyoungclub
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 29 2013
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