Shits just got real.
I was having some difficultea.
No forks were given
An obstruction of justice.
An optimist prime
...."I think your refrigerator is broken. This ice is coming out melted!"
Then it dawned on me.
Got my girlfriend with this one at her family gathering.
They call it a pez dispenser
They call it the "Marble Cinna-matic Uni-verse"
It doesn’t make any cents.
I guess you could say it's a Prez dispenser.
The new Aquaman Pez dispenser looks like Jesus. A man was checking out, picked it up and said. Man: is this a Jesus Pez dispenser Me: no that’s Aquaman Man: Oh wow I guess all fish no loaves huh
LB: Why are the soda dispensers out of order?
Me: Something is broken and it hasn't been fixed yet.
LB: But they can just reorganize it!
And we found ourselves more interested in the napkin dispenser than we probably should have. It occurred to us that there was an industry in these dispensers, and we should join it and crush the competition.
I quipped, "Yes. We need to make our own napkin empire, and beat the Ottoman Empire."
She said that joke could and should become famous.
Dad's: "I'll have Marlboro reds in a box."
I begin to scan the cigarette dispensers with a concerned face. Moving my hands across the different packs I say,
"Sure you don't want them in a jar? Or how about Tupperware?"
If it makes dad's groan, I'll probably make a great grandfather.
The other day I am hanging at my GF's Grandparent's home when all of a sudden her grandpa takes a bunch of tape from their tape dispenser and just puts it on to his ear. Obviously very confused my GF goes "Grandpa what are you doing?" to which he responds "Oh, just listening to my tape"
Well I wait tables in a local restaurant, while opening one morning the the un-sweet tea dispenser was not working. The dishwasher was able to fix it and brought it back out to the drink station. I then thanked him by saying "Unsweet, thanks!" The entire back of house face palmed.
