Another day, another Dawn.
One cleans the grill, the other gleans the krill.
Because it doesn’t have any feet!
It's hand wash only
I said it doesn’t have Bluetooth.
..."No, Ken do"
I told her I would try flowers and candy.
How it got stuck up her butt I'd never know.
Poor wife has a terrible headache.
So my dad brought her a glass of wine.
Dad: No...
Me: puts plate in sink
Dad: ...but the dishes inside are.
Me: moves plate to dishwasher
(Edit: formatting)
And the pan I need to be able to cook is dirty. The sink was filled with dishes. The dishwasher needed emptied. I emptied the dishwasher and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher to make enough space to hand wash the pan. It was a cascade situation.
Boy, do I miss her
Dishy-washy.
You take her to the hospital.
Thank you for making me an expert in loading the dishwasher.
And came upon the tupperware and asked my son "Tupperware? Oh tupper here." as I put them in the cabinet.
They’re never in sink.
Let that sink in.
We had just finished cleaning up dinner and were watching a movie when I went into the kitchen to get dessert. The entire floor was covered in bubbles emerging from the dish washer.
I called to her and said it looked like Sud-etenland in here. She was unamused.
What did the doctor say to the kid that didn't want stitches?
Suture self.
I said it's both until you open it.
Me: Welp, should we run it?
Wife: We can, but I don't think the leash is big enough.
Got a huge laugh out of me.
"I blow in her ear"
I said this to my ex-father-in-law without thinking about it first.
I said "no it's not, it's German."
Person two: "I guess you could say the anti-stick went out of the frying pan, into the water."
So he give me this.
I replied "The old one was nagging me too much"
I noticed on one of the cups that there was some rice, so I said "Look, that's not very clean."
To which my dad replied, "Well, the rice is clean."
This is actually from my father-in-law:
My wife and I have been living together without an actual dishwasher in the kitchen since we've been together, whenever I mention that we don't have a dishwasher at our apartment, he replies with, "Yeah you do,. you actually have two of them, you and my daughter!"
"You mean it never Dawned on him that he was drinking detergent?"
Not sure if links are allowed or not. This is a self post, so no karma.
http://i.imgur.com/N8G5QaI.jpg
This evening I was packing up the dishwasher when my my mum told me to put a tablet in. So cue my dad who was standing just outside with his windows tablet so I went into the hall and picked it up and almost put it into the dishwasher when mum called me out on it.
I'm unpacking the dishwasher and bump into my dad with a mug and he goes
Dad: Help! ThatFeelBro Is trying to mug me!
I didn't make the joke in english but it translates well.
We just had lunch and my mom was clearing out the table and putting stuff in the dishwasher while my brothers and my dad were talking about the party we were going to that afternoon. My mom and dad would go there by bike and my brothers and I would take the car.
Then my mom said: "should I turn on the dishwasher so everything will be clean when we'll return?"
On which I commented: "That's not fair, we go by car, and you by bike, while the dishwasher has to run?"
It's dishwasher safe!
Here: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/btsq5u/my_dad_will_be_telling_dad_jokes_till_the_end/
Well, I remembered something else he said once that I find hilarious (now) that you may also.
When I was a kid my chore was to do the dishes, by hand, after every meal bar holidays when I had help and the week of my birthday. One particular time, I must have been about 15 when I asked my Dad, Why don't we use the dishwasher, its easier and it's right next to me?
In the proud tradition of Dads before him he answered, We are using the dishwasher, now hurry up and quit complaining.
I laugh now in hindsight, and for some reason really enjoy doing dishes by hand.
Another day, another Dawn.
