Where do you bury dead cutlery?

In it's final resting plates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeroberts1003
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?

You've got to play the long prong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/humanbeingahuman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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My 9-year-old son Luke was forgetting to use his cutlery again at dinner.

So in my best Obi-Wan Kenobi voice I said, "Luke, use the fork!"

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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A priest was getting very annoyed with his young parishioners during dinner time and said if they continued misbehaving even the cutlery would be punished.

One boy said to another: "What? the fork in hell?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit

No more Mr. Knife guy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllKnowingBurrito
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?

Silverware.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blobmouth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief

It was stainless steel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maiemo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....

I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanpaa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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How do Chinese people make cutlery?

They chopsticks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ciaMan81
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?

It's too spoon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kahooki
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly

No forks were given

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TannedCroissant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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What's a pirate's favourite brand of cutlery?

Long John Silverware

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazarus_Pits
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2017
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How did the cutlery greet the steak?

Knife to meat you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyroger24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
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I was at a lunch with the family and we were eating with plastic cutlery. Two of the prongs of my fork broke, my dad turns to me and says...

"Looks like your fork is now a twok"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyber-Monkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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The Cheerio story

So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackcrackaman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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3 guys walk into a pink hotel

Three guys walk into a pink hotel, they go threw a pink door, it's the pink reception desk and sign into the pink book. The lady dressed in pink walks them up the pink stairs, down a pink hall then gives them the pink keys to their pink rooms. They all walk into their pink room, put their suitcases down on the pink carpet, then place their clothes in a pink cupboard. They have a bath in their pink shower and dry themselves with the pink towels. They finally go to sleep in the pink beds. They wake in the morning and go downstairs to have breakfast. They have their pink bowls, pink cups and pink cutlery. When they are asked what they want for breakfast one man says he will have weatbix and the other two say they want cornflakes. Once they are finished their food, they pack their suitcases up and leave the pink hotel. The moral of this story is that two out of three people prefer cornflakes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flurowolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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What do you call knifes and forks that have been cut into pieces?

cutlery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulSilver1712
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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