They gave me a fork because I'm not Chinese.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!

When she asked why I responded β€œyou’ll get salmon-Ella!”

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P1nealColada
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
To the person losing all their forks:

It must be terrible to be running out of tines.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeraldAlabaster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Here’s a plastic fork to keep in your car, I didn’t use it.

It’s very forktunate.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minnara
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
Came with the house my brother bought. The thing sticking out is his tuning fork
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatVapeBitch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fork with 8 prongs?

Tiney

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moistentheweasel
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
wanna know why I like forks?

because spoons are pointless

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCommonersLife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
I always spoon a woman after I fork them

I guess I'm just knife like that.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Balsuks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
What is the best quality to use when photographing forks?

4K

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Killcams
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
I came to a fork in the road.

I proceeded to pick it up.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Steven6942
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?

You want a piece of me?

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I broke my fork. It went from plastic....
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iwakun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I came to a fork in the road.

Don’t kink-shame me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crash8308
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A-Salt Fork
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreedTheUndead_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Albert Einstein originally theorized about the business end of a fork...

It was about tine.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A fork in the road...
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K-0184
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently overheard my dad washing the dishes. He repeatedly pushed a fork under water while saying:

"WHO DO YOU FORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR PLATE?"

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Got_A_Hatt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is a fork better than a knife in a fight?

Because it's a four pronged attack!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam_and_Co
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Puns yo fork
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MathieuVeldhuis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
And I’m not about to fork it up
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simoxys
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Just a fork in the road...
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buck_Thorn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Hey, fork you.

I'm sorry, that wasnt very knife.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kylea12345
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Whenever the server asks my Grandpa how he wants his steak done, he holds his fork and knife up and says "just walk the cow on by!"
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AverageHeathen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Fork in the road
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/K00lguy720
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Just a fork in the road
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rypper12345
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Captain Kirk finally came up with a name for his invention: a cross between a hose nozzle, a spoon, and a fork.

He called it Mister Spork.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gecko_echo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Just a fork in the road...
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in my kitchen and my cousin went next to me as I was looking at the brownies, placed a fork and said fork u. + to add on to this as I was trying to take this photo the brightness wasn’t working properly so my dad’s girlfriend goes β€œguess you could say it’s forked”
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weewoman11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Fork you
πŸ‘︎ 186
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adityakr082
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
My eating utensils were forged from Valerian steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GerryAttric
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the man with an endless supply of forks say?

I've got all the tine in the world.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamvanno
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...

...are you testing its utensil strength?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BassCuber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad told me when I was young I once stuck a fork into a socket.

I was shocked!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/32SecondsToUranus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My kid started scraping his fork on our ceramic plates

I asked, β€œWhy are you doing that?”

He responded with, β€œI’m making music. I call this β€˜death metal’”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaltyComb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I ate my food with a charged fork

My food tasted smoky but least I got a shock out of it

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ubeengnomed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call knifes and forks that have been cut into pieces?

cutlery

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulSilver1712
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Fork you!
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beykirchkid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Make a straight at the fork.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/___jimenez__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the sausage say to the fork?

Do your wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lanomanse
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband with a fork?

Joke teller: β€œit was Reese... ohh what was her name..Reese..”

Person: β€œWitherspoon?!”

Joke teller: β€œNo I just told you it was with her fork!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bayouraised
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
metal fork
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_moosejr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Prior to the invention of the fork, what were they using beforehand....

Exactly

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tren898
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
You know what? Fork you!

Too spoon? I'm sorry, that wasen't very knife.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Genekid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Where do bad forks go when they die?

Hell's Kitchen.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Her: Would you mind grabbing a fork and standing in the kitchen for a few minutes? Me: Ok, why?

Her: The recipe says, Step 3: Prick with a fork to make sure it’s cooked.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Just found a fork in the road
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potatofarmerdude
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
🚨︎ report
If you see a fork in the road -

Pick it up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/burnt_roti
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Go fork yourself
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JAGoMAN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
🚨︎ report
My fork company has had a lot of ups and downs this year

It was the best of tines, it was the worst of tines.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2017
🚨︎ report
...this is my plastic fork!
πŸ‘︎ 202
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πŸ‘€︎ u/getsomeawe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2013
🚨︎ report
I had to grate some ginger with a fork today....

I'm convinced I've found the root of all evil.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EaterOfKelp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I noticed that the forks at my restaurant have serial codes on them.

Shouldn't those be on spoons?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boson707
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
🚨︎ report
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SatanicOnion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
🚨︎ report
A scientist stuck a fork into an electrical outlet.

His discovery was shocking.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Despite the name, these forks aren't particularly entertaining. imgur.com/sRZocf7
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeroTo325
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2015
🚨︎ report
"I was at Olive Garden and it was weird. They were totally out of forks. All they had were Threeks" imgur.com/Az0TUvb
πŸ‘︎ 170
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinggert
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
🚨︎ report
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.

I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ContentDoctor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
🚨︎ report
My daughter said, "This fork is tiny."

I replied, "Well, all forks are tine-y."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend, his Father and I were about to sit down to eat some pasta when he asked "forks all round?"

To which I replied "No, they're the pointy ones."

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weavin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
🚨︎ report
I don't need a fork, dad!

...said my sister

"What kind of dad do you need?"

"A spoon dad!"

i have to live with this...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epicbob57
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad was setting the table and I reminded him to put out forks.

Don't worry, I won't fork-get them.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exeivot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Fork off.
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crusheen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2012
🚨︎ report
Fork over the Cash! imgur.com/tWkp7Gj
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AHxCode
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the knife and fork say to the chopsticks?

"Which of you is the fork in your relationship?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaesarS-a-lad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Physics teacher on tuning forks

Teacher: so these tuning forms are hit and they make a specific tone, does anyone know what this is called (pointing at on of the prongs of the fork)

Student: isn't it a prong?

Teacher: no, it's actually called a ning, because it's a two-ning fork

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordanubis79
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
🚨︎ report
"Feed you," said my toddler, wanting me to put breakfast on the fork

"Feed me," corrected my wife, "Pronouns are hard," she added.

"If they were easy, they'd be called amateur nouns," I said. Got the morning off to a great start.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coachlasso
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2015
🚨︎ report
My uncle went over his handlebars when he wrecked his recumbent bicycle. The fork was bent in the action.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dontfup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
🚨︎ report
I was at a lunch with the family and we were eating with plastic cutlery. Two of the prongs of my fork broke, my dad turns to me and says...

"Looks like your fork is now a twok"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyber-Monkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
🚨︎ report
How would you describe what quality of plastic fork would be needed to eat a particular food without bending?

That would be its utensil strength.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFurrypants
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you know that forks in an exam have their own digestive systems?

They've got their own in-test tines.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MusicalTerrorist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you reach a fork in the road?

You pick it up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mooseloves
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2013
🚨︎ report
My family and I are at the dinner table when my mom asks who wants the small fork

Both my grandma and little brother said they would take it, so I said "Well, I guess now they both get half of the small fork." To which my little brother immediately said "Well, I guess at that point we'd call it a Two-ke instead of a fork."

(I'd been reading jokes from this subreddit all night - I think it rubbed off on him)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bwgsu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
🚨︎ report

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