They gave me a fork because I'm not Chinese.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
To the person losing all their forks:
It must be terrible to be running out of tines.
Here’s a plastic fork to keep in your car, I didn’t use it.
Came with the house my brother bought. The thing sticking out is his tuning fork
What do you call a fork with 8 prongs?
wanna know why I like forks?
because spoons are pointless
I always spoon a woman after I fork them
I guess I'm just knife like that.
What is the best quality to use when photographing forks?
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
I broke my fork. It went from plastic....
I came to a fork in the road.
Albert Einstein originally theorized about the business end of a fork...
I recently overheard my dad washing the dishes. He repeatedly pushed a fork under water while saying:
"WHO DO YOU FORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR PLATE?"
Why is a fork better than a knife in a fight?
Because it's a four pronged attack!
And I’m not about to fork it up
Just a fork in the road...
Hey, fork you.
I'm sorry, that wasnt very knife.
Whenever the server asks my Grandpa how he wants his steak done, he holds his fork and knife up and says "just walk the cow on by!"
Captain Kirk finally came up with a name for his invention: a cross between a hose nozzle, a spoon, and a fork.
He called it Mister Spork.
Just a fork in the road...
I was in my kitchen and my cousin went next to me as I was looking at the brownies, placed a fork and said fork u. + to add on to this as I was trying to take this photo the brightness wasn’t working properly so my dad’s girlfriend goes “guess you could say it’s forked”
My eating utensils were forged from Valerian steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
What did the man with an endless supply of forks say?
I've got all the tine in the world.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
...are you testing its utensil strength?
My dad told me when I was young I once stuck a fork into a socket.
My kid started scraping his fork on our ceramic plates
I asked, “Why are you doing that?”
He responded with, “I’m making music. I call this ‘death metal’”
I ate my food with a charged fork
My food tasted smoky but least I got a shock out of it
What do you call knifes and forks that have been cut into pieces?
Make a straight at the fork.
What did the sausage say to the fork?
Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband with a fork?
Joke teller: “it was Reese... ohh what was her name..Reese..”
Joke teller: “No I just told you it was with her fork!”
Prior to the invention of the fork, what were they using beforehand....
You know what? Fork you!
Too spoon? I'm sorry, that wasen't very knife.
Where do bad forks go when they die?
Her: Would you mind grabbing a fork and standing in the kitchen for a few minutes? Me: Ok, why?
Her: The recipe says, Step 3: Prick with a fork to make sure it’s cooked.
Just found a fork in the road
If you see a fork in the road -
My fork company has had a lot of ups and downs this year
It was the best of tines, it was the worst of tines.
...this is my plastic fork!
I had to grate some ginger with a fork today....
I'm convinced I've found the root of all evil.
I noticed that the forks at my restaurant have serial codes on them.
Shouldn't those be on spoons?
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
A scientist stuck a fork into an electrical outlet.
His discovery was shocking.
"I was at Olive Garden and it was weird. They were totally out of forks. All they had were Threeks" imgur.com/Az0TUvb
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
My daughter said, "This fork is tiny."
I replied, "Well, all forks are tine-y."
My friend, his Father and I were about to sit down to eat some pasta when he asked "forks all round?"
To which I replied "No, they're the pointy ones."
I don't need a fork, dad!
...said my sister
"What kind of dad do you need?"
"A spoon dad!"
i have to live with this...
Dad was setting the table and I reminded him to put out forks.
Don't worry, I won't fork-get them.
What did the knife and fork say to the chopsticks?
"Which of you is the fork in your relationship?"
Physics teacher on tuning forks
Teacher: so these tuning forms are hit and they make a specific tone, does anyone know what this is called (pointing at on of the prongs of the fork)
Student: isn't it a prong?
Teacher: no, it's actually called a ning, because it's a two-ning fork
"Feed you," said my toddler, wanting me to put breakfast on the fork
"Feed me," corrected my wife, "Pronouns are hard," she added.
"If they were easy, they'd be called amateur nouns," I said. Got the morning off to a great start.
My uncle went over his handlebars when he wrecked his recumbent bicycle. The fork was bent in the action.
I was at a lunch with the family and we were eating with plastic cutlery. Two of the prongs of my fork broke, my dad turns to me and says...
"Looks like your fork is now a twok"
How would you describe what quality of plastic fork would be needed to eat a particular food without bending?
That would be its utensil strength.
Did you know that forks in an exam have their own digestive systems?
They've got their own in-test tines.
What do you do when you reach a fork in the road?
My family and I are at the dinner table when my mom asks who wants the small fork
Both my grandma and little brother said they would take it, so I said "Well, I guess now they both get half of the small fork."
To which my little brother immediately said "Well, I guess at that point we'd call it a Two-ke instead of a fork."
(I'd been reading jokes from this subreddit all night - I think it rubbed off on him)