Do you like your Family’s Punditry?
but I didn't wanna brisket.
I hope it doesn't suck.
If you are wondering how I know this, it's because olive random trivia
They call it Koo-Kee Do
She said, "leaf me alone."
The Naval Corps.
Tell it acorn-y joke.
When I asked how he managed to keep count,
He replied, "I keep a log"
It seems he wasn't very poplar, and is now deciduously less alive. If he returns from the dead, he'll definitely be pining for revenge.
It only knew twigonometry
...A pair of Velcrows obviously.
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
She immediately raised it above her head and said, “This is a stick up!”
(Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)
They were opening a new branch on the other side
They’re just such lightwooded jokes but I understand that it doesn’t teaks everyone’s fancy. I’m running out of tree puns so I might have to branch off to other puns or spruce up my current ones
This is a STICK-up!
He was a fanta-stick buddy.
(Booty Judge)
You can 'PNC' what happens next
I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.
They insist on bringing a baby to full term.
You are my root
It wood glue but the branches wooden stick
Boy, was that hawkward.
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit ➡Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.
The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.
Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, “Darling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"
An ampu-tree.
The Air Force; they're US AF
Lettuce
It’s just like a pet dog, only the bark is quieter.
His poos were really sticky.
I'm convinced it's a mix up from when I moved branches.
Police admit they are stumped.
The Air Force, because they're US AF.
