Concussion puns?

My friend got a concussion and I want to send him a concussion pun. It could be wishing him well but not required. Ideas?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/offlebagg1ns
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
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Did you ever hear the story of about the gymnast who got a concussion?

A woman walks into a bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryand118
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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My neighbour has had 45 concussions in the past few weeks.

He lives just a stone throw away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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A guy on my street holds the world record for most concussions

He only lives a stone's throw away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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What happens when a frog gets a concussion?

It becomes a foggy froggy.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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A neighbour of mine is always in A&E with concussion,

lives just a stone's throw from me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonefly_C
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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Do you remember that movie on concussions?

It really impacted my mind

Said by my mother, but my father caught the pun!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doses_of_mimosas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2016
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A concussion is an injury that is all in your head
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_johnarch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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Post concussion

So I'm concussed during my high-school rugby game, after which we head to the hospital. Important to mention that I was a member of my school's jazz band, and had a concert coming up. I get checked out by the doc, minor concussion. He's going over the stuff with my dad on what to watch out for (be careful with naps, no contact sports for a while etc.) and my dad asks if I'd be able to play the trumpet in next week's concert. The doc says he thinks it might not be the best idea. So my dad asks, will he at least be able to play the piano? Doc replies that yes, I'd be able to play the piano.
"That's great, he wasn't able play it before the concussion!"
Took a second for the doctor to realize what happened, after which he seemed to sigh with exhaustion and laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sundance91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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Talking to my dad about my boyfriend getting a concussion..

Me: Someone ran into him with their helmet and his ear was ringing for a few minutes afterwards.

Dad: Did he answer it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrobinsonnnn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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Seems like a Bassless claim to me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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What do you call a handjob from Albert Einstein?

A stroke of genius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mortambulist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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Two men walked into a bar

They ended up in the hospital with concussions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inkling2032
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone’s throw away, in fact.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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A man walked into a bar

He ended up with a concussion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justALilBub
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2017
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I was in the E.R...

This was a little while ago. I fell off a roof, landing back first on a curb (I'm fine, luckily). The nurse had just finished taking my vitals when this exchange went down:

Nurse: "Do you smoke cigarettes?"

Me: "Nope"

Nurse: "Alcohol?"

Me: "I don't smoke it!"

(bonus!) Doctor: "Well looks like we don't have to check him for a concussion!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/managong
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2015
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3 Guys walk into a bar

They all have concussions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StardustTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
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My mom dad-joked my dad...

My boyfriend told me this belonged here...

Last week my dad fell on our icy driveway, giving himself a concussion, a bruised face and a broken cheekbone. After spending most of the night in the ER and many prescriptions later, this exchange occurred between my parents and the doctor.

Dr.: Do you want something for that face? For the pain?

Mom: No thanks, if it hurts I just won't look at him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saradee413
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2014
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Quasimodo's Replacement

Once upon a time Quasimodo was growing old and wanted to retire. Before he could, he had to hire someone new to ring the bells of the Church of Notre Dame in his place. He placed an ad in the newspaper but only one man showed up for the interview. This man happened to have no arms. The man begged Quasimodo to give him a chance, and that despite his appearance he could indeed perform the duties of the job. Quasimodo eventually caved and gave him a chance. The next day at 1:00 sharp they met in the bell tower. The man with no arms takes a wide stance near the edge of the room and charges directly towards the bell at a dead sprint. He smacks the bell squarely with his head and it produces a wonderful sonorous ring. Pleased with the results, Quasimodo tells him that if he can continue to ring the bell for the rest of the day he has the job. 2:00 passes and the man with no arms headbuts the bell twice, at 3:00 three times, and on and on until at 12:00 he produces only 11 rings before he was so disoriented and concussed that he charges right past the bell, over the railing, and falls to his death. The next day when the police investigate the mysterious death of an unknown man with no arms Quasimodo was asked if he knew anything about the dead man. He told them " I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bygles
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2016
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What do you call a Spanish explorer who falls and hits his head?

A concussed-ador

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
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This morning, I slipped on some ice and slammed my leg into my truck.

I think I have a concuss-shin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kehian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
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