A list of puns related to "Concussion Jokes And"
The title and this story may sound fake (New account to hopefully protect my identity), but I swear to you it could not be more real for me. I wanted to share this, I am not doing this for attention but merely to seek help. More questions will be asked at the end of my story. As the title describes, a miracle has occurred given the severity and intent of the crash. The paramedics, police, doctors, nurses and my parents all gave me the most puzzled look of their lives when they asked how fast I was going, and I replied "200 km/h".
I have been depressed for 4 years now. Nothing has been working and my mental health has declined terribly. I have been on multiple medications, tried behavioural therapy such as cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), and even went a course of Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). First my motivation to do anything went down; I couldn't eat, do school work and most importantly, socialize. My social circle grew smaller as my depression grew bigger, after 4 years of suffering as well as other health conditions such as horrible eyesight (+10.00 in each eye with astigmatism), sleep apnea and anxiety, I figured life wasn't going to get any better and I decided to end my life.
I drove to the mountains where I decided I would find a large hill, go full speed down it and either turn into the median or drive off the road, ultimately killing myself. About 3 hours from my hometown I found the perfect hill, The road was steep, perfect for gaining speed to ensure a fatal crash. Without thinking too much (I would just talk myself out and not commit), I pulled a U-turn and drove to the hill which was about 5 minutes after that point. They say your life flashes before your eyes, mine played back to me for those 5 minutes. The most important people and influential moments of my life appeared before my eyes. They suddenly disappeared as I approached my chosen hill. My foot automatically floored the gas pedal, I placed my left foot behind the brake so I wouldn't back out. I raced down the hill, gaining more and more speed, by the time I reached the bottom, my car (which only has a speedometer for up to 200 km/h. I saw the road start to bend and I jerked my wheel into the opposite direction of the turn, slamming the front end of the car into the median. That was the last thing I remembered before waking up in my car, with tapping on the window from bystanders. All I could think to myself at that moment was "wow, I so much of a failure I can't even kill mys
... keep reading on reddit β‘This is of course assuming Carlo's injury is a concussion, but like, there's no way it isn't. All it was given was a 2 minute minor (After review, using the dumb Pavelski rule that shouldn't exist, and also in opposition to the wording of Rule 45 in the NHL rulebook).
The previous hit was some asshole who doesn't even matter trying to take off Tuukka's head at the total expense of... 0 PIM, no DoPS call, and a win for the Columbus Blowjobs in that game.
Someone remind me how the Bruins are the league's darlings again?
Or at least allow Obi-Wanβs mind trick to disable his jet pack as a trade off
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