But now I can look back and laugh.
I'm stuck in limbo.
I told her to break a leg.
^(I just had to share this. For what it was worth, I made her smile, like an upset "I don't want to laugh at this moment, but I can't help it" kind of smile, and that's what counts. Luckily there were no fractured bones.)
I sprained my ankle and have to use crutches Dad says "hey now you can get a job at I-hop!" Nice one dad
"Would you try a cane?"
"Only if it's a hip one"
We're sitting at the dinner table after my stepkid returned from a weekend at her dad's, telling bad puns to each other. This was her response to her mom. Mom (to me): Honey, you tell some terrible jokes. Me: I know. The kid: Mom, they're not BAD jokes, they're DAD jokes.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Why didn't the pregnant cow want to take aerobics?
She didn't want to sprain her calf.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Why do cows wear bells?
because their horns don't work
So I fell and either sprained or broke my ankle this morning chasing my son around.
Told my wife I had been assaulted, so she better get me some pepper for balance.
The eye roll was epic.
Edit: hairline fracture on my ankle
Firstly, it should be noted that she's a total klutz. She's fallen off her longboard and sprained her ankle(s) multiple times in the past few months. So, I was talking to her earlier today as she was walking to Walgreens to pick up an Ace bandage. When I asked why, she said she twisted her ankle walking home from work. I then said "Damn, your ankles can't catch a break, can they?", to which she replied "Well, I think I'd be in more trouble if they did."
S: "I'm going to get a haircut." D: "Which one"
S: "I'm going to get a haircut." D: "Just one, that's a lot of effort for one cut."
S: "I'm going to get a haircut." D: "Don't cut any of mine!" (I'm bald)
S: "I'm going to get a haircut." D: "Don't cut the good one."
I do this until they sprain their faces rolling their eyes.
My mum sprained her ankle and my dad drove her to the nearby walk-in clinic.
Upon entering, with my mum hobbling along on her uninjured foot alongside him, he said to the receptionist "Walk-in? What about the hop-in?"
She looked at him with confusion.
Waste of excellent humour.