They have their pros and cons
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gracosef
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat

What a load of bologna.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr33nphoenix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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I ran into a midget cosplayer at a con...

He was a little Strange.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Why can't you have a directory called con?

Because it's better to have pros

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qiwas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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A Little Con Descending

https://preview.redd.it/9auxavpt25d61.jpg?width=481&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=420abab00fc836d0bea8185270be4b870d10b133

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OldMan3212
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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A man tries to teach his son the cons of alcohol.

he gets two worms, puts one in vodka, and one in water. The worm in vodka dies in 20 minutes, while the worm in water survives 3 whole days. the man asks his son, "what did you learn today?" and the son responds "never bathe in alcohol"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/circuitBoard98
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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While you're making your decision, here are some pros and cons:

Pros: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady

Cons: Al Capone, Frank Abagnale, Ted Bundy

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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What do you call a joy con knife? a SWITCHBLADE

this plays off another, funnier post but i couldn't find it again

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carlos_E_idiot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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If Pro is the opposite of Con, what is the opposite of progress?

And don't forget constitution.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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An e-con major.....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommandoSharp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Why do con artists never run out of lollipops?

Because there's a sucker born every minute.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave7243
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad-joke pun...and it’s amazing
πŸ‘︎ 533
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreekAlphabetSoup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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Found Martin Griffiths on comic con, he did commissions and drew me a tattoo :D
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Albme94
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?

He was taken for granite.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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What is a con artist's truck towed with?

A pickup line

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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To the class of 2020, con-graduations
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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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What do you call an Egyptian architect turned con man?

A Pyramid Schemer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cygamer002
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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What do you call a con artist that can air bend?

An air con

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Did you hear about the group of hulk cos-players at comic con?

They held a challenge to see how could get angrier then them.

It was out-rage-us!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jinko387
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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What are the Pros and Cons of having a Switch?

A Pro controller and Joy Cons.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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pros and cons of switch
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Did you hear the one about the stone mason who was married to a con artist?

She took him for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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What a con-cept
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OldSchoolJedi80
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Went for the long con with my wife

I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. She's a nurse, so I figured she'd dress my wound better than I could. She started off with cleaning up the cut with a betadine swab.
Wife: "This might sting a little bit."
Me: Yup. Yup that stings.
Wife: Sing a song. It'll take your mind off of it.
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, Those days are over you don't have to sell your body to the night..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "You know who sings that, right?"
Wife: "Yeah, the Police."
Me: "Who and the Police?"
Wife: "Sting?"
Me: "Yes it does."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capomatt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
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If the opposite of pros are cons, then the opposite of progress is...
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?

Spanish con-quiz-daters

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hashint
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad joke...and it’s truly amazing

https://i.imgur.com/O6ePcMG.jpg

I can’t imagine what that guy is doing now...what left is there to do in life after reaching the pinnacle of dad jokes.

An inspiration to us all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreekAlphabetSoup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I think Nintendo produces their joy-cons on Tokyo

Because they drift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swanton141
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Pros and Cons of Pine Trees

https://preview.redd.it/l1bw02kr5k131.png?width=799&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e9d827518b2c69da1d87c1815a47a208a906c7a

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMax0803
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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What do you call a female con artist?

Ms. Leading.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Top Quality Con-Tent
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StartSmalls
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
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The film "The Longest Yard" has its pros and cons.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceowin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Marriage has its pros and cons..

On one hand you get to wear a ring. On the other hand, you don’t.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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I've been thinking about the pros and cons of becoming a pirate.

On the one hand, I like stealing treasure, but on the other hand, I don't want to have to wear a hook.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikiloIX
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're thinking about working in a prison library, it's important to consider the prose and cons.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rawlingstones
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
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my wife's long con

Not exactly a dadjoke, but she learned from the best.

So, it was last sunday and we did a family trip to the zoo with the whole family. Now our kids are 3 1/2 and 1/2 and we named them after strong animals, think "Leoni" (the Lioness) and "Falc" (the Falcon), not exactly those names, but you get the gist. We decided about our daughter's name about 4 years ago.

While we were standing at the entrance queue, my wife gently stroked our daughter's hair, lifted up our son, placing a kiss on his forehead, looked at me smiling and said:

"I have been waiting for this so long!"

"Uhm, to stand in line at the zoo?"

"No, honey, to .... take our zoo to the zoo!"

*groan*

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Horst665
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
A mean crook yelled at me while going down stairs. He was a condescending con, descending.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farbegn
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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If pro is the opposite of con,

is progress the opposite of congress?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Pros and Cons of making food

Pros: Food

Cons: Making

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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Cosplayers are just con artists
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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If the opposite of β€œpro” is β€œcon”,

Then the opposite of β€œprogress” is β€œCongress”

(Dads can be woke too)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatherNigel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Since con is the opposite of pro...

it must mean Congress is the opposite of progress?!

πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alysuh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
🚨︎ report
If con is the opposite of pro, then

Is Congress the opposite of progress?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EcksMarksDespot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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