You see a boat filled with people, but when you look closer you don't find a single person in it. Why?

Because everyone is married.

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dangerouslyawful
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets larger when it gets closer

Then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/willem640
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
When I pulled up to the hardware store I saw a guy running away with a wooden panel. I got out the car and as i got closer to the store i saw two more guys running away with concrete posts. I said to my wife...

..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mitcheg3k
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rabbit that is closer to the sunrise than you?

An East-er bunny

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymouspapayaz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I use to think that I had the exact same padlock as my friend, but upon closer inspection..

It was clear to see that they had some key differences.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yellgames01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...

I felt your presents!

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was wondering why frisbees get bigger as they get closer to you....

And then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:

This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.

πŸ‘︎ 332
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brendo20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Our art teacher wanted us to come closer to sketch an aspect of distance or time...

We all drew near.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was wondering why the ball was getting closer, then it hit me...
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A man suspected his wife was hard of hearing so he decided to do an experiment. The man snuck up behind his wife and said, β€œHoney, can you hear me?” No response. He went a little closer and said a little louder, β€œHoney, can you hear me?” Still no response. So he went right beside her ear, yelling,

β€œHoney, can you hear me!?” She turned around and shouted, β€œFor the third time, yes I can hear you!”

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gho5ly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Having children really brought my wife and I closer together.

Now we have a common enemy.

πŸ‘︎ 172
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I love fishing but I can never pull the fish closer once I hook it.

It's a reel problem.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/newkyd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Growing up I felt CLOSER to mom than dad...

...for he was FATHER than her

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
MRW family in Oklahoma City ask if my new job will be closer to home. imgur.com/gallery/kUruTHZ
πŸ‘︎ 126
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lilrmoe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I’ve always wondered why frisbees appear bigger as they get closer...

Then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shippy10_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
How can I become closer than acquaintances with people?

I'm just asking for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomas_nook
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the sneeze getting closer?

It was coming right achoo!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUniqueFiness
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2016
🚨︎ report
My GF asked me if the Mets' closer had been pitching in the league for a long time.

I told her I wasn't familia.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Genetic_Heretic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad Poem for Harambe (Closer Remix)

So pull thay baby closer

Like that kid in your enclosure

That Harambe call his home

Shoot a bullet through his shoulder

Pull the sheets right of the corner

Of the haystack that he stole

From his brother back in jungle

Harambe's never getting older!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KappaKeppa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm moving out of state to be closer to my girlfriend... she said when I move, she's going to get me a nice housewarming gift...

I replied "You're getting me a fireplace?!"

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/She_Likes_Cloth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

Then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets

and then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aresbeast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Standing at the park today wondering why does a frisbee appears larger the closer it gets..

And then it hit me! I didn't see that one coming

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MainScientist6
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets bigger the closer it gets to you.

Then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe9455426
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?

Then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/studentadvisor101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was standing in the road wondering why cars get bigger the closer they get

And then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pndaberrybruh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Standing in a park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

Then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/420_esketit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.