You see a boat filled with people, but when you look closer you don't find a single person in it. Why?
Because everyone is married.
I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets larger when it gets closer
When I pulled up to the hardware store I saw a guy running away with a wooden panel. I got out the car and as i got closer to the store i saw two more guys running away with concrete posts. I said to my wife...
..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"
What do you call a rabbit that is closer to the sunrise than you?
I use to think that I had the exact same padlock as my friend, but upon closer inspection..
It was clear to see that they had some key differences.
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...
I was wondering why frisbees get bigger as they get closer to you....
2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:
This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.
Our art teacher wanted us to come closer to sketch an aspect of distance or time...
I was wondering why the ball was getting closer, then it hit me...
A man suspected his wife was hard of hearing so he decided to do an experiment. The man snuck up behind his wife and said, “Honey, can you hear me?” No response. He went a little closer and said a little louder, “Honey, can you hear me?” Still no response. So he went right beside her ear, yelling,
“Honey, can you hear me!?” She turned around and shouted, “For the third time, yes I can hear you!”
Having children really brought my wife and I closer together.
Now we have a common enemy.
I love fishing but I can never pull the fish closer once I hook it.
Growing up I felt CLOSER to mom than dad...
...for he was FATHER than her
I’ve always wondered why frisbees appear bigger as they get closer...
How can I become closer than acquaintances with people?
I'm just asking for a friend.
Why was the sneeze getting closer?
It was coming right achoo!
My GF asked me if the Mets' closer had been pitching in the league for a long time.
I told her I wasn't familia.
Dad Poem for Harambe (Closer Remix)
So pull thay baby closer
Like that kid in your enclosure
That Harambe call his home
Shoot a bullet through his shoulder
Pull the sheets right of the corner
Of the haystack that he stole
From his brother back in jungle
Harambe's never getting older!
I'm moving out of state to be closer to my girlfriend... she said when I move, she's going to get me a nice housewarming gift...
I replied "You're getting me a fireplace?!"
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets
Standing at the park today wondering why does a frisbee appears larger the closer it gets..
And then it hit me!
I didn't see that one coming
I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets bigger the closer it gets to you.
I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?
I was standing in the road wondering why cars get bigger the closer they get
Standing in a park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.
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