The Closer Puns

A list of puns related to "The Closer"

I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets larger when it gets closer

Then it hit me.

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👤︎ u/willem640
📅︎ Mar 20 2021
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When I pulled up to the hardware store I saw a guy running away with a wooden panel. I got out the car and as i got closer to the store i saw two more guys running away with concrete posts. I said to my wife...

..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"

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👤︎ u/mitcheg3k
📅︎ Apr 15 2021
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What do you call a rabbit that is closer to the sunrise than you?

An East-er bunny

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👤︎ u/Anonymouspapayaz
📅︎ Apr 02 2021
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I use to think that I had the exact same padlock as my friend, but upon closer inspection..

It was clear to see that they had some key differences.

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👤︎ u/yellgames01
📅︎ Feb 23 2021
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Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...

I felt your presents!

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👤︎ u/CoddiwomplingRandall
📅︎ Dec 24 2020
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2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:

This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.

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👤︎ u/brendo20
📅︎ Dec 26 2019
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I was wondering why the ball was getting closer, then it hit me...
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👤︎ u/VeryLastBison
📅︎ Oct 12 2019
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A man suspected his wife was hard of hearing so he decided to do an experiment. The man snuck up behind his wife and said, “Honey, can you hear me?” No response. He went a little closer and said a little louder, “Honey, can you hear me?” Still no response. So he went right beside her ear, yelling,

“Honey, can you hear me!?” She turned around and shouted, “For the third time, yes I can hear you!”

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👤︎ u/Gho5ly
📅︎ Sep 13 2019
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I was standing in the road wondering why cars get bigger the closer they get

And then it hit me

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👤︎ u/pndaberrybruh
📅︎ Oct 29 2019
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Why was the sneeze getting closer?

It was coming right achoo!

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👤︎ u/TheUniqueFiness
📅︎ Aug 04 2016
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My GF asked me if the Mets' closer had been pitching in the league for a long time.

I told her I wasn't familia.

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👤︎ u/Genetic_Heretic
📅︎ Sep 22 2016
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Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

Then it hit me.

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👤︎ u/PsychologicalAd7193
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets

and then it hit me

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👤︎ u/aresbeast
📅︎ Oct 09 2020
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Standing at the park today wondering why does a frisbee appears larger the closer it gets..

And then it hit me! I didn't see that one coming

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👤︎ u/MainScientist6
📅︎ Nov 05 2020
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I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets bigger the closer it gets to you.

Then it hit me.

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👤︎ u/Joe9455426
📅︎ Oct 07 2020
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I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?

Then it hit me

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👤︎ u/studentadvisor101
📅︎ Jun 02 2020
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Standing in a park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

Then it hit me.

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👤︎ u/420_esketit
📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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