Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
Choose a major you love
and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring
What do you call it when a chef has you choose between 2 tomatoes?
Computer: choose a password. Me: hi-hat
Computer: password cannot contain symbols
It's pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum: I have to choose between her and my career as a news reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
A little boy asked his father why people would choose atheism.
The father replied “because it’s a non-prophet organization.”
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from
If I had to choose, I think I'd rather be a Vegetarian Vampire.
I can never choose what I want; they have such a rye range of bread!
At the grocery store the other day, the bagger asked the woman in front of me, "Paper or plastic?" She responded, "It makes no difference to me. You choose." The bagger explained that he isn't allowed to, and that she had to choose. This upset her quite a bit, which was confusing to me.
I thought it was common knowledge that baggers can't be choosers.
Why did cheese man choose to become a superhero?
why couldn’t the vampire choose between ribeye, sirloin or T bone?
Because he was scared of stakes
Choose any number between 2 and 8. Multiply by 4, and then add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Sir, why did you choose to sit at the bar?
Because I have table reservations.
What did the cannibal choose as his last meal
When pirates move out of Kansas, which state do they choose?
If you could be any race, which one would you choose?
The Boston Marathon, it’s the most popular.
I’m really struggling to choose a name for my wild yeast starter.
I hope it won’t be a John Dough forever.
A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?
She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.
Why did the rabbit choose to become a jeweler?
Because he got to work with carats.
Next time your wife or girlfriend asks why they always have to choose where to eat...
Just tell them because they're the picky one.
I'm trying to write an essay about satellite, and I need to choose a font...
My buddy Jesus got promoted to a supervisory position and I got to choose the music for his promotion party.
I went with "Your Own Personnel Jesus"
If I could have any superpower, I would choose invisibility. But I wouldn't use it to do anything ILLEGAL...
Why did the NFL choose to acknowledge OJ Simpson as a part of the top 100 players?
Because he really was a killer running back.
Why can't you choose Latin as your default cell phone language?
Because the Roman charges are too much!
Choose title to your liking
My friend wanted me to choose which parasitic insect egg he would eat...
Charles Darwin always chooses the purple choc from the quality street tin.
It's a natural selection.
If you ever have to choose between steak or chicken, choose steak...
... it will never steer you wrong.
If you play rock, paper, scissors on a treadmill, always choose paper.
Everyone knows you don't run with scissors.
When given the choice between two ways to get to the roof, I always choose the ladder.
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
My wife wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
I was told to choose between her and being a reporter...
I had some Breaking News for her
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
My wife told me that I had to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter.
I have got some news for her.
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a TV journalist.
I have some breaking news for her.
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
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