I know why Tesla's are expensive. They charge a lot.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DerFuhrer_69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the popcorn want to press charges?

Because it was a-salt-ed!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wheelnebula
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Who's in charge of delivering mail at the Vatican?

The Pope's Office

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SomaYoga
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?

Attempted Hummus-ide.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Does anybody know how to charge their milk?

Mine is stuck at 1%

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_SHIT_A_BRICK
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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If this new 'dynamic armour' thing they're working on involves electrical charges between plates...

... can we just call it e-mail?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ruinsfate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
The woman in charge of our local primary school has decided to resign.

She wants to quit while she's a head.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m in charge of the reader board at work
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alx924
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't they ever charge Santa for break and enter?

They can never find probable Clause

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NateTheSimpleOne
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did police charge spice rack with?

A salt

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ricerly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
free of charge
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MattloKei
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 114
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rafwaf123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?

In control.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yellowlemonie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.

Sir Veyor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bombsaway1083
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone else surprised we don't see more toddlers with criminal charges?

Mine's always resisting a rest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/inspire_me_please
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a pirate charge for corn?

A buck an ear.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa Claus charge to park his sleigh?

Nothing. It’s on the house.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dtxdx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Found guilty on all charges, the train couldn't rationalize his off-the-wall behavior.

It was a loco motive.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
4 year old daughter gave me her Nintendo switch to charge..

I put it on the ground and backed up. I slowly raised my arm and yelled "chaaaaaarrrrggggeeee" , then I ran at it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GForce1975
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Would anyone like a brownie? Free of charge!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_sewer_rat_0900
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey kids! I put that Waze app in charge of my music playlist.

It keeps telling me to take the Backstreet Boys!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Get it? Like electric charge
πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Okidety1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought one of those early 2000s robot dogs but have nowhere to charge it

I need to find a pug socket

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/suoupdupepoopscoop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The local diner charges Hispanic men less than everyone else.

They call it the seΓ±or citizens’ discount.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/YourLocalCreep
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee...

But no. I was charged $30 a pop.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy, Evan, just got acquitted of all charges that he was imprinting his face in the foundation of a local housing project.

They couldn't find any concrete Evan dents.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheLocalVaultTecRep
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My synagogue is famous for how little the mohel charges for a circumcision.

He just works for tips.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brewer1056
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
When you are in charge of the twitter account during national battery day
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DidrikNL
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I was wearing a shirt with the family crest of my favorite painter Frida Kahlo. After a few hours I started to get hungry and ordered takeout. When my delivery person arrived he handed over my food without taking any money for bringing it to me. I asked him β€œHow come there’s no charge?”

He replied: I was going to charge you, but I noticed you had Frida Livery”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/linknt01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
He decided to take charges.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jummygummy4720
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Hey look, free of charge!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 671
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_vengeful_1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat

especially when it's on cruise control

πŸ‘οΈŽ 157
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slackbladerered
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What crime did they charge the insomniac with?

Resisting A Rest

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VagariTurtle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Also in charge of microsurgery.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
If your iPhone runs out of charge...

Does that mean you are out of apple juice?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 934
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GamingDemon23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is in charge of keeping the ocean clean?

A mermaid.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MasterLink172
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Toffeemanstan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
No charge? How shocking!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2017
🚨︎ report
A cousin of mine is in charge of distribution for this big pickle company; he was freaking out over the weekend after sending only miniature pickle chips to a restaurant that asked for full sized ones..

They told him it wasn't a big dill, though.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Y33T-HAW
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
You can have criminal charges filed against you if you don't take enough naps.

You'll be indicted with resisting a rest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ass-with-class
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A dad must be in charge of the local churches sign
πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/J0hnnyFreed0m
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do people charge money for helium when it’s supposed to be free of charge?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 82
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pacos-ego
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I put the new engineer in charge of driving the locomotive despite without having lessons on how to drive it...

I figured he would do well with on the job training. He went off the rails and wrecked. I don't need to mention about his conduct during the process.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the title of a person who is in charge of a furniture company?

The chairman.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 185
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Who's in charge of Kentucky Fried Popcorn?

Kernel Saunders.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ItsDarthVader
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know how to charge milk?

Mine is stuck at 1%

πŸ‘οΈŽ 146
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How much does a pirate charge for corn?

A buck an ear.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/danno49
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report

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