What do you call your sibling who doesn't eat her carbs?

Ketosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Carbs are great for your diet
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kapil300
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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These carbs are bananas bro
πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/satire_scull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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I figured out the best way to cut carbs!

Buy a bagel slicer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AzUreDr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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My boyfriend works in a bread factory. We’re gonna be struggling forever, but at least we have carbs. v.redd.it/xeiwkctcich41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ebiki
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Q: What do you call a Satanist who only eats low-carb pizza?

Κ‡snΙΉΙ”-ᴉʇuβˆ€ ǝΙ₯β”΄ :βˆ€

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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Carbs my dude
πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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After three weeks of my no-carb diet, I had to see my doctor for digestion pains...

...he told me I was lack toast intolerant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCPanda6969
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Who knew I would fall in love with a low-carb, high-fat diet?

Turns out it had the Keto my heart this whole time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/witz33
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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Doing my bit for the environment, minimising my carb-on footprint
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightB3ar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night

It was not real food, it was an impasta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetwitchy1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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I'm going to start a low carb, high fat and protein combined with martial arts diet

Aiketo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adopogi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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A person went on a low carb diet to lose weight...

They said β€œIt’s the keto my success!”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
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Me to my husband: I got my 23&me results back and my genes say I am better off on a low-carb diet.

Him: But what did your shirt say?

It was so unexpected, I was proud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickifoxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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Who is that Texas politician who is on a high fat, low carb diet?

Keto O’Rourke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hew3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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In an effort to cut down on sugar, I went on an all veg, meat and carbs diet.

It was completely fruitless.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2016
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Donuts are cop carbs.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/erotic_donut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
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Low-carb diet advice...

...should be taken with a grain assault.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dizzy_Pop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2016
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My Toyota truck was great, but now it's Wonderful
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Picker-Rick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Not exactly what the doctor ordered
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Knowledge
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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I had a stack of 52 slices of toast this morning.

I ate an entire deck of carbs!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyWiseaus_butt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Every time I go to dinner with my parents, they constantly argue about the mashed potatoes, rice or french fries...

And I always tell them that I'm not choosing sides.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
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What do you call 52 pieces of bread?

A deck of carbs.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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The scariest machine in a gym is the ...

Dreadmill.

Most carb filled machine? The breadmill

Machine that is easiest to sleep on? The bedmill

A running joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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My wife out dadjoked me on the rebound

Either she's getting wise to my jokes or she's tired of them. Doesn't matter because she got me good.

We're on a low carb diet and she recently bought a cookbook. So we go out to the store and she picks up some whey protein.

"We can make pancakes with this!", says the wife.

"No whey!" I remark, holding back my schoolgirl giggle.

She rolls her eyes, "You're whey out of line this time."

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robbbbbbbbb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
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My son and I were stocking up for the Christmas party at our new rural home...

And on the way back, my son and I tortillaed through three bags of family size Doritos.

We would have pointed fingers at one another, but they were already in our mouths. Sucky situation, I know.

I turned the car around and said, "Son, now our mission is snackfued."

Salty from our spell of bad luck, we licked our lips and hightailed it back to Walgreens. I sent a MSG to my wife to tell her about the crunch we were in.

Many of our guests had already arrived when we finally returned, holding up our carb-earned trophies.

It was then that my son's friend complimented our modest country estate: "Cool Ranch!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuenaPisteada
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
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While watching Transformers: Age of Extinction with my wife I notice one the autobots was pretty hefty...

I said to my wife, "He must be eating too many carb-uretors."

Thanks to a friend for this joke who just had his 3rd girl. God bless him...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingpin0825
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2015
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What do you call your sibling who doesn't eat her carbs?

Ketosis

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stack of 52 slices of bread?

A deck of carbs!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zephyx10
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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What do you call 52 pieces of bread?

A deck of carbs!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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