What do you call it when someone mislabels a colour? A false acHUEsation!
The professor said we'll probably touch on everything.
"No Dad!! It was fcuk."
Nah, im'ma stay
The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.
But I don't know how I feel about it... There are prose and cons
He didn't finish the main course
"William."
An O-limp-ian!
so my angry teacher shouted at me:
-Isabel, why are you sleeping in class?
-And I answerd:
-Sorry teacher. I really feel like a bike.
Then the teacher asked:
-What do you mean by that?
-I'm two tired.
The other 99 read balloons.
So today, a subreddit.
But then I thought; 'Nah, too basic...'
Dad: Namaste home instead
She wanted to work out her problems
is this a dad joke? No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.
Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.
She forgot her Algae-bra.
They’re a big fan of gross domestic products.
Dude, your fly is open
Teacher: “So I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”
The teacher has everyone turn their body over
Teacher: “Now I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”
all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first
Teacher: “Okay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”
The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked
As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, “now see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.
With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz
What are the odds?
I ain't that crazy about it. I think it's best left in the past.
I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
She's having a hard time taking notes.
I wanted my report card to spell out F art
He said, “They are used to keep your shirt closed.”
The teacher asks the class, “ there are five birds on a power line, and you shoot two of them, how many are left?”
Johnny replies, “ none the rest flew away when they heard the shot.”
The teacher says, “ no three are left but I like the way you think.”
So then Johnny says, “ let me ask you a question. There are three women eating ice cream, one licking it, one sucking it, and one biting it, which ones married?”
The teacher says, “ the one sucking?”
Johnny says, “ no the one with the wedding ring but I like the way you think.”
So you always get the point!
All write, all write, all write
...so she sent me home with a colloidal suspension.
She’s a private tooter
Turns out it’s a Level 5 course.
Me: What's today's Criminology class on?
Friend: Cannibals.
Me: (gasps) A Hannibal Lecture!
The teacher said there will be a quiz on Friday.
At this rate, he will never be there on time.
Teacher: Timmy, tell me a word that begins with M
Timmy: Yesterday
Teacher: But Timmy, yesterday doesn't begin with M, begins with Y
Timmy: But teacher, yesterday was monday
I just don't get IT
So instead, a subreddit.
She forgot her Algae-bra.
So instead, a subreddit.
