My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak.
If only they could see me now...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 20 2016
John Wayne has a low quality toilet paper made branded with his name
It don't take shit from nobody
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 07 2018
I'm a 40 year old woman who delivers babies for a living and I just bought a brand new Corvette...
Everyone thinks I'm have a Midwife crisis.
π︎ 30
π
︎ May 20 2021
What brand of shoes do Transformers wear?
π︎ 13
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︎ May 14 2021
A brand new one from my dad:
Dad: Iβm gonna have to return all of these poles. Theyβre too tall.
Me: They seem fine.
Dad: No. The stakes are too high.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
A brand new type of tea!
There's a new type of tea that changes colour, plays 8-bit tunes and even makes the whole room you're in fill the air with its contents.
It's called hue-midi-tea.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 04 2021
what shoe brand does dragonborn wear?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 03 2021
My wife got awarded our car in the divorce. It was a brand new Kia.
Now all I've got is Nokia!
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 02 2021
What is a dog's favorite fashion brand
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 02 2021
A funeral director friend of mine bought a brand new Cadillac hearse.
People are dying to take a ride in it.
(As told by my friend the funeral director?
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Watching my kid throw my brand new phone out the window is the last thing I wanted to see today...
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 12 2021
My Father will be releasing a new brand of giant breath mints later this year. He said it will be named after his children!
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 26 2021
My wife bought store brand ketchup despite the fact that I like Heinz. I threw it out, so now I guess she knows....
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
What a brand name. Could not resist.
π︎ 122
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
What brand of shoe is a Czech's favorite?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
Starbucks should release their own brand of facemasks, they could call them...
π︎ 71
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
what is a singers favourite laptop brand?
a dell
(hope you guys get it)
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
What is Cruella de Vil's favorite brand of footwear?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
What do you call Santaβs motorcycle brand?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
What did Velveeta call their new line of designer brand cheese?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Two inventors died and ascended to heaven. There, they met each other and with their brilliant minds created a brand new form of fire making utensil.
It was a match made in heaven.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
Walmartβs onn brand of tv wall mounts.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
What's a footballer's favourite brand?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
What brand of chips is slower than Internet Explorer?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Came home from the store with off-brand vegetable oil
wife threw it directly in the trash to teach me a wesson
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Do you know why Aldiβs doesnβt sell its own brand of nuts?
Because itβs would be called Aldiβs Nuts
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
Are they allowed to LOL?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
Went to pop a couple anti-inflammatory pills while getting ready for work and wife asks which brand I wanted
I said, βIβm taking Advil before Aleeveβ
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 07 2020
I want my brand to become THE dairy alternative for the post truth era.
The people believe in Fake Moos.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
What do you call state-sponsored cereal brands from Algeria?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
My wife's bra has the brand name "Splendid", embroidered on the band under one of the cups ...
I just took a sharpie and wrote "Also quite nice" under the other one.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
Whatβs a skeletons favourite brand of bread?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
Which brand of computer has the best singing voice?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
Most brands of bottled beer is the same as having sex on a boat
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
Apple just released their brand new round-shaped product
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
What brand of car do young sheep prefer to drive?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
What snack cake brand does Michael Jackson eat?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
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