I saw a biscuit in a cage at the zoo

It was bread in captivity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wambo-mombo
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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A man walks in to a bar. On the bar is a duck tap dancing on a biscuit tin.

He is amazed and wants to buy the duck. The man refuses at first but eventually agreed. As the man walks out of the bar the now owner of the duck shouts. Excuse me how do i stop the duck tap dancing. Simple says the man lift up the tin and blow out the candle......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Bonnie Tyler's new range of biscuits have received good reviews

They're good dunkers, but every now and then they fall apart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elbobby89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,

but had to take them back as the seal was broken...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I don’t need an entire biscuit.

Just a single bis is fine. Don’t need a whole kit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I just bought some ginger biscuits.

He wasn't very grateful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Tiny biscuit pizzas and my kid...

My 8yo daughter and I were adding ingredients to the biscuit pizzas before putting in them in the oven. I told her to...

Me: put black olives on em.

Her: dad?....

Me: yes

Her: on Olive them?

I was was so proud 🀣

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brokenbyher2019
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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My son gets to play a frosted cinnamon biscuit in the school play!

It's a sweet role!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Did you hear about the fight in the biscuit tin?

The bandit hit the penguin over the head with a club, tied him to a wagon wheel with a blue ribbon, and made his breakaway in a taxi, escaping along the rocky road to mars, the milky way, and the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadgerEatCheese
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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My dog biscuit got ran over!

Now we call her flatbread.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hehehvw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Good old biscuit henge.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flaming-noodles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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What biscuit does a short person like?

Shortbread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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Hey son, do you know why the pilgrims ate biscuits at the first Thanksgiving?

Because they had a boatload of May-flour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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What did the biscuit say when it got ran over?

Oh crumbs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smudge158
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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DJ Steve Aoki has hung up his vinyls and gone into making biscuits

He's calling his new line DJSteve's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaykoKoryun
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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How do biscuits have children?

Obviously, they are bread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swipex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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What are Thanos's favourite biscuits?

Ginger snaps

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sammmywammmy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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This biscuit is nice with a cup of tea
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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I just took a job at a biscuit factory.

What can I say? I knead the dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuskenRaiders
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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My dad told me a biscuit joke

it was rich

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doggyxninja
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Dublin Dad Joke takes the (biscuit) cake
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eoinh100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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What's a dwarfs favourite biscuit?

Shortbread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrappiTheUgly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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Why did the magician wear a suit made of biscuits?

So he could have a few Twix up his sleeve

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdwardPastaHands
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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For breakfast I used to have cereal. Then I moved to muffins, to doughnuts and then to combination of chocolate, biscuits and marshmallows...

It's a rocky road.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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What does a comedian biscuit and I have in common?

We both make crummy jokes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FistOnFire
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
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I caught my dad in the kitchen with his dick in a biscuit tin...

I asked my mum what he was doing and she replied "Ignore him, he's fucking crackers"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfherin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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So two biscuits are walking down the street and one says to the other "where do you live?"

And the other says "I can't tell you, you'll steal my clothes"

Please tell me if you get this. Cus I don't.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Magic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
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What are Aladdin's favourite biscuits?

Jaffar Cakes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazlowoodbine
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2017
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I really like the expression "Son of a biscuit"

It just rolls off the tongue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejerg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2015
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Mam asks for some biscuits

My dad tells her that there's none left.

Mam: "Are you lying?"

Dad: "No, I'm sitting down."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imfuckingAMAzing
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2016
🚨︎ report
Dog biscuits

Went to the gardening store today as I needed some stuff for the garden (duhh), anyways when I get to the counter there's a small basket with some fancy ass dog biscuits. I grab a small crumbly bit and chew on it, and then tell the cute girl behind the counter.

"You know what? These things don't taste like dog at all"

She looked aghast at me, and started laughing like crazy, and got some weird looks from her manager.

I should have got her number...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitno
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
🚨︎ report
What biscuit does a short person like?

Shortbread.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What biscuit does a short person like?

Shortbread.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What biscuit does a short person like?

Shortbread.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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