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Belly Puns

A list of puns related to "Belly"

What kind of belly button does a car have?

an Audi

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👤︎ u/jvartandillustration
📅︎ Oct 02 2020
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What did the police officer tell his belly button?

YOU'RE UNDER A VEST!

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👤︎ u/ShiverMeeTimberz
📅︎ Oct 15 2020
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You are underAvest!

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👤︎ u/spacemanwho
📅︎ Oct 06 2020
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What military branch is an expert on belly buttons?

The Naval Corps.

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👤︎ u/themoistimportance
📅︎ Oct 23 2020
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My cat likes to squish his feet on my belly.

Sometimes it's just nice to be kneaded.

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👤︎ u/gimme_them_cheese
📅︎ Jul 17 2020
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My wife: for 7 months pregnant my belly looks small

Me, an intellectual: Yeah! Not as apparent.

P.S. Happened for real. She laughed and playfully hit me for pulling such a sneaky on her.

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👤︎ u/math-pro
📅︎ May 26 2020
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Why did the belly dancer quit her job?

Because she hated waisting time

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👤︎ u/ADTO97
📅︎ Apr 23 2020
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Me to my daughter in regards to the gyms closing: "Guess I won't be flattening this curve." (As I pat my belly)

She rolled her eyes and sighed.

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👤︎ u/Batchet
📅︎ Mar 24 2020
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What kind of school do belly buttons go to?

Navel academies.

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👤︎ u/lg_3000
📅︎ Oct 11 2019
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Beer Bellies for sale
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👤︎ u/LuckyC4t
📅︎ Jan 10 2020
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If my car had a belly button

do you think it would have an innie or an Audi?

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👤︎ u/measurebeyondwit
📅︎ Mar 11 2020
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My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...

That's the paunch-line.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Oct 24 2019
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My pork belly on the stove caught on fire and my wife put it out.

She really saved my bacon.

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👤︎ u/Burninator1
📅︎ Sep 05 2019
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What’s it called when a red belly bird goes to a cemetery?

Grave robin

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👤︎ u/Mscoobs
📅︎ Aug 05 2019
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I think this year, I’m going to give my belly button up for lint.
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👤︎ u/yags2002
📅︎ Mar 06 2019
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A man goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor I swallowed a key. Can you please get it out of my belly?”

The doctor asks: “When did you swallow it?”

“About 3 years ago.”

“Really? Why are you coming this late?!”

“Well… I lost my spare key.”

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👤︎ u/C0untdown
📅︎ Jun 24 2019
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My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. “Quit hurting your mother.” I said “ You’re grounded!”

“Go to your womb!”

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👤︎ u/thor_loop
📅︎ Dec 15 2018
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I have this recurring dream that E.T. tackles me, puts grey tape on my belly, and runs away.

I keep getting ab-duct-taped by aliens.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 21 2018
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What do you call a bunch of ships made of belly button lint? [x-post /r/jokes]

A naval naval fleet.

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👤︎ u/InfiniteCows
📅︎ Nov 17 2017
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I need to quit smoking weed. I keep getting the munchies. I think I’m starting to get a pot-belly.
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👤︎ u/basketofgravy
📅︎ Dec 02 2018
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What would you call a race of seafaring belly buttons

A naval fleet.

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👤︎ u/MrTryhardington
📅︎ Jul 14 2018
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What do you call a fight where you're only allowed to belly bump?

A naval battle

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👤︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
📅︎ Nov 08 2017
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Did you hear why the giant baby left his mother's belly?

There wasn't enough womb

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👤︎ u/amp93
📅︎ Nov 08 2018
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What do you call belly buttons fighting each other?

Navel Warfare

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👤︎ u/MichaelScott315
📅︎ Aug 08 2017
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Today, I saw a young lady with a huge beer belly. It was so unusual I had to point it out to my wife. The young lady caught me making a joke...

She gave me a mean look and said “I’M PREGNANT!”

And I said “Shame on you! You shouldn’t drink so much, you’ll hurt the baby!”

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👤︎ u/CarsonFoles
📅︎ Dec 13 2017
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Confucius say, "Man with large beer belly

have perpetual hangover."

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👤︎ u/dunn_with_this
📅︎ Jan 28 2018
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Where do belly buttons go to college

Naval Academy

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👤︎ u/SoDakZak
📅︎ Jul 05 2017
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Family discussion about belly buttons.

Sitting around the dinner table the other night...

Little Sister: Belly buttons are weird.

Me: At least you and I have innies, Middle Sister has an outie, gross.

Little Sister: No, she has an innie too!

Little Sister: Dad, does Middle Sister have an innie or an outie?

Dad: ... I thought she had a Mazda...

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👤︎ u/athennna
📅︎ Dec 22 2015
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Confused Mom and a belly laugh from Dad

We were eating dinner. Mom was complaining about her Wendy's broccoli & cheese baked potato. She quietly said "gee whiz...", so I give it a second and respond "no. CHEESE whiz."

After a few more seconds my mom mutters "whaaat?" while my Dad's face is contracting.

Unreasonably high levels of pride followed.

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👤︎ u/r3ynoldswrap
📅︎ Aug 10 2014
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How did Geppetto escape the whale's belly?

He ran around until he was pooped.

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👤︎ u/billdanbury
📅︎ Aug 24 2015
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Sent a picture of my enormous pregnant belly to my friend.

Her comment:

"Looks like Baby is running out of womb."

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👤︎ u/college_prof
📅︎ Jan 06 2015
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My girlfriend looked at my belly button

And said "I'm so glad you don't have an outtie" I followed up with "nope, just a volkswagen" which I do actually drive.

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👤︎ u/phill0406
📅︎ Mar 02 2014
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What do you do with an extra belly button???

You put it in the naval reserves!!!

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👤︎ u/dc5powerpack
📅︎ Dec 03 2014
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What did the officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

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👤︎ u/UhHowAboutN0
📅︎ Jan 12 2020
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What did the cop say to his belly?

You're under a vest

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👤︎ u/td941
📅︎ Apr 18 2020
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What did the police man say to this belly button?

"You're under a vest!"

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👤︎ u/NedDeadStark
📅︎ Mar 18 2020
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What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

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👤︎ u/Gr0gn4kTh3B4rb4r14n
📅︎ Apr 28 2020
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What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

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👤︎ u/JBaczuk
📅︎ Feb 09 2020
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What'd the cop say to his belly button?

You're under a vest!

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👤︎ u/ThisIsAron
📅︎ Nov 20 2019
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

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👤︎ u/CdotBigz
📅︎ May 08 2019
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