What kind of belly button does a car have?
What did the police officer tell his belly button?
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
What military branch is an expert on belly buttons?
My cat likes to squish his feet on my belly.
Sometimes it's just nice to be kneaded.
My wife: for 7 months pregnant my belly looks small
Me, an intellectual: Yeah! Not as apparent.
P.S. Happened for real. She laughed and playfully hit me for pulling such a sneaky on her.
Why did the belly dancer quit her job?
Because she hated waisting time
Me to my daughter in regards to the gyms closing: "Guess I won't be flattening this curve." (As I pat my belly)
She rolled her eyes and sighed.
What kind of school do belly buttons go to?
If my car had a belly button
do you think it would have an innie or an Audi?
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.
My pork belly on the stove caught on fire and my wife put it out.
She really saved my bacon.
What’s it called when a red belly bird goes to a cemetery?
I think this year, I’m going to give my belly button up for lint.
A man goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor I swallowed a key. Can you please get it out of my belly?”
The doctor asks: “When did you swallow it?”
“About 3 years ago.”
“Really? Why are you coming this late?!”
“Well… I lost my spare key.”
My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. “Quit hurting your mother.” I said “ You’re grounded!”
I have this recurring dream that E.T. tackles me, puts grey tape on my belly, and runs away.
I keep getting ab-duct-taped by aliens.
What do you call a bunch of ships made of belly button lint? [x-post /r/jokes]
I need to quit smoking weed. I keep getting the munchies. I think I’m starting to get a pot-belly.
What would you call a race of seafaring belly buttons
What do you call a fight where you're only allowed to belly bump?
Did you hear why the giant baby left his mother's belly?
What do you call belly buttons fighting each other?
Today, I saw a young lady with a huge beer belly. It was so unusual I had to point it out to my wife. The young lady caught me making a joke...
She gave me a mean look and said “I’M PREGNANT!”
And I said “Shame on you! You shouldn’t drink so much, you’ll hurt the baby!”
Confucius say, "Man with large beer belly
have perpetual hangover."
Where do belly buttons go to college
Family discussion about belly buttons.
Sitting around the dinner table the other night...
Little Sister: Belly buttons are weird.
Me: At least you and I have innies, Middle Sister has an outie, gross.
Little Sister: No, she has an innie too!
Little Sister: Dad, does Middle Sister have an innie or an outie?
Dad: ... I thought she had a Mazda...
Confused Mom and a belly laugh from Dad
We were eating dinner. Mom was complaining about her Wendy's broccoli & cheese baked potato. She quietly said "gee whiz...", so I give it a second and respond "no. CHEESE whiz."
After a few more seconds my mom mutters "whaaat?" while my Dad's face is contracting.
Unreasonably high levels of pride followed.
How did Geppetto escape the whale's belly?
He ran around until he was pooped.
Sent a picture of my enormous pregnant belly to my friend.
Her comment:
"Looks like Baby is running out of womb."
My girlfriend looked at my belly button
And said "I'm so glad you don't have an outtie" I followed up with "nope, just a volkswagen" which I do actually drive.
What do you do with an extra belly button???
You put it in the naval reserves!!!
What did the officer say to his belly button?
What did the cop say to his belly?
What did the police man say to this belly button?
What did the police officer say to his belly button?
What did the police officer say to his belly button?
What'd the cop say to his belly button?
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
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