Im gonna start making batting cage business that only accepts pennies, dimes,quarters, half dollars, and dollar coins
Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage
A group of geese is a gaggle, agroup of rats: a mischief, a murder of crows, bats a colony and men a crowd. What's a group of batmen?
What did batman say to robin before they got into the bat mobile?
I caught a man trying to break into my house last night. He was wearing football pads, swimming trunks, ice skates and holding a baseball bat.
I said, “Oi, what’s your game?”
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Mess with the bat you get the gat
I once tried to kill a giant mouse with a baseball bat
Now I have a lifetime ban from Disney world
Coronavirus is now all over the world
But China got it right off the bat.
From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"
"I don't know, bud, what?"
"Your legs."
Well done, kid.
Every country will eventually get coronavirus, but china got it right off the bat
Did you know the name Bat is actually a short form...
What is a bat's favorite spice?
Why do Vampires chew gum?
Because They have BAT Breath!
So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to “square up on the ball”
She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”
She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.
Proud dad moment.
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River
I told him thats bat shit in Seine
Why are bats so bad at business?
They always fly-by-night.
Baseball Bat (Visual Pun)
All countries got Coronavirus...
Rare diseases carried by bat droppings
Be careful to avoid bat droppings. You can catch a rare disease from them that can drive you batshit crazy.
From wizard to vampire to bat…
Why did the chicken go to KFC during lunch hour with a baseball bat?
It wanted to beat the crowd.
Steal everyone's eyelids and no one bats an eye...
Remove their brains from their skulls and everyone loses their mind...
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
People tend to not be too fond of the movie Ferngully, but I think it just has a bat rap
Serve alcohol at a party and nobody bats an eye
Serve laxatives at a party and everybody loses their shit!
A vampire bat returned to his colony with a lot of blood on his face. When the other bats asked him what happened he pointed to a building and said: “See that cow barn over there?”
What did the rat say when he saw a bat?
“Oh my!! I just saw an angel!!”
Bat-problem
Robin: Batman, Batman, there is a problem with the Batmobile, it does not start.
Batman: Must be the battery.
Robin: What is a tery????
How come when women use chemicals to remove polish no one bats an eye
But when hitler does it the whole world is against him?
Me: Dad I have bats in my attic
Dad: baseball or softball?
Real life encounter with my dad. The legends are true. Dad jokes prevail.
Why does a baseball bat have no parents?
Because it's just a Bat, man!
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