Im gonna start making batting cage business that only accepts pennies, dimes,quarters, half dollars, and dollar coins

Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A group of geese is a gaggle, agroup of rats: a mischief, a murder of crows, bats a colony and men a crowd. What's a group of batmen?

An orphanage.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayjay3078
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What did batman say to robin before they got into the bat mobile?

Robin get in the car.

πŸ‘︎ 408
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I caught a man trying to break into my house last night. He was wearing football pads, swimming trunks, ice skates and holding a baseball bat.

I said, β€œOi, what’s your game?”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling β€œI stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?

For a bat, every room is the batroom.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teduh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Htub
πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avandoorslaer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Mess with the bat you get the gat
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catchingfire3HG
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I once tried to kill a giant mouse with a baseball bat

Now I have a lifetime ban from Disney world

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystic_Frost69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Coronavirus is now all over the world

But China got it right off the bat.

πŸ‘︎ 331
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Said_It_in_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"

"I don't know, bud, what?"

"Your legs."

Well done, kid.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papagayo_blanco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Bat htub
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobetron676
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Every country will eventually get coronavirus, but china got it right off the bat
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziMen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Bats not only cause Corona, they could also cause bad puns. v.redd.it/rejaq9nx7sx41
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiS
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the name Bat is actually a short form...

The full name is Bathew

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Baseball bat
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurtisViridian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a bat's favorite spice?

Oreguano.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Vampires chew gum?

Because They have BAT Breath!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/69Wilson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to β€œsquare up on the ball”

She replied β€œthe ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her β€œno, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says β€œI’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.

Proud dad moment.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsjorgehernandez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River

I told him thats bat shit in Seine

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chilidog0572
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
To the bat mobile!!
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samoneggs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are bats so bad at business?

They always fly-by-night.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What has a little penis and hangs down? A bat. What has a big penis and hangs up?

click

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZZEZ73
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Baseball Bat (Visual Pun)
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlastLeatherwing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
All countries got Coronavirus...
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirt_T
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Rare diseases carried by bat droppings

Be careful to avoid bat droppings. You can catch a rare disease from them that can drive you batshit crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aiaor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Htub
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RYDOGE21_YT_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
From wizard to vampire to bat…
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shloks7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken go to KFC during lunch hour with a baseball bat?

It wanted to beat the crowd.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Steal everyone's eyelids and no one bats an eye...

Remove their brains from their skulls and everyone loses their mind...

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Yellow bats indeed v.redd.it/xfnnv4h3ywl11
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoGuy339
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Baseball bat
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
People tend to not be too fond of the movie Ferngully, but I think it just has a bat rap
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/herurumeruru
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Serve alcohol at a party and nobody bats an eye

Serve laxatives at a party and everybody loses their shit!

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lachdog982
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a bat fly today.

It hit a home-run.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyborgladiator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A vampire bat returned to his colony with a lot of blood on his face. When the other bats asked him what happened he pointed to a building and said: β€œSee that cow barn over there?”

β€œI didn’t.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingWilliamVI
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the rat say when he saw a bat?

β€œOh my!! I just saw an angel!!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Bat-problem

Robin: Batman, Batman, there is a problem with the Batmobile, it does not start.

Batman: Must be the battery.

Robin: What is a tery????

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geekcommunicant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How come when women use chemicals to remove polish no one bats an eye

But when hitler does it the whole world is against him?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WattoNUFC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Dad I have bats in my attic

Dad: baseball or softball?

Real life encounter with my dad. The legends are true. Dad jokes prevail.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crisp-high-five
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does a baseball bat have no parents?

Because it's just a Bat, man!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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