The banana peel forgot what it was doing on the floor.

Must’ve slipped its mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I feel strong peel pressure when all my friends start eating bananas.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deoxys14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend walked upstairs, stepped on a banana peel, and fell on his bed

He went to slip

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cubelith
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I caught my son rubbing banana peels all over him. At first, I was worried. Then I realized it.

He was going to be all ripe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdafbird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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What do you call a pair of banana peels on the floor?

Slippers!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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Me: "Son, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your grandma slipped and fell on a banana peel. She's pretty banged up"

She got a banana Nana boo boo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mlnkoly111
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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I'm a relatively new dad. My 2 year old daughter was eating a banana in the car. From the back seat, she started to hand me sections of the banana peel when I blurted this out:

"Don't do that, you'll hurt his peelings!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/super_dork
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
🚨︎ report
*while peeling a banana* One skin, Two skin, Three skin.........

Last skin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Two bananas are sitting at a drag strip

When the light drops the first banana split, the other peeled out.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajorMinceMeat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?

A slipper

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abdic8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife: This cake does not look appealing!

I grabbed banana and started to peel in front of the cake. How about now?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/math-pro
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I never tell jokes about food for example…

If I tell a joke about a banana peel I have a tendency to slip up and I butcher all the jokes about meat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aceto1469
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Bananuns

Wow. That jacket is really yellow. Hey, I like it. Yeah, if you were a banana. I find it very aPEELing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyItsMeHammy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden


What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.


Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.


The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.


Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.


Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.


What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?


Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!


What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.


What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!


A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.


Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.


You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.


Mexican candy makes my taste buds say β€œOLE!”


FORGET LOVE… I’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
My niece picked up a stuffed animal recently.

It was a cat inside a banana peel. She kept going on and on about "It's so cute." I asked her "So you're telling me it has appeal?" I think a part of her died at that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alf-was-here
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
A tip if you’re going to Santa Cruz.

Keep your eyes PEELED for banana slugs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Commits_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad: "that's why you'll never see organic apples, they look too unappealing"

Me: "well apples don't need to look good, it's bananas that you need to be a-peeling" He was so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trippywoodsct
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Bananas?

"Dad, do you want more bananas?" "Nah. They don't sound very a-peel-ing."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dogsaretheanswer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Waiting for my brother in the parking lot...

my dad and I watched a girl in a banana costume run by the car and out off the lot. My dad quickly says, "I guess she had to peel."

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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Guest speaker dad joke.

So we had a guest speaker in my class today, (victimology). He had just finished introduced himself and since we have a smaller class he wanted everyone to introduce themselves as well. He wanted to know our names career path ideas, and one interesting fact. Everyone's going around saying the typical stuff in a criminal just class and not very interesting facts. Then a fellow student states her interesting fact that she has never peeled a banana. Everyone was kinda shocked, and when asked why she had explained that she got really sick one time when she was young after having eaten a banana given to her by her mom, (pre peeled). He then looked at her and said, "well I can see why you don't find them very apPEALing...." And then burst out into laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/laxerado1313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
🚨︎ report
What is everyone's favorite fruit?

Banana. It's a peeling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/luke7537
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My son didn't understand

But you will :)

My son is eating a banana and decided to try to put the peel back on. He was getting upset when:

Son: I can't put it back! Me: you can't put the peel back? Son: what is a peel? Me: it's when you have qualities that people like.

My genius is wasted on children

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrE82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Got my 6 year old with this gold this morning

So my son wanted to have a banana this morning. My wife picked up a banana from the fruit bowl but she couldn't peel it as it wasn't ripe enough. So she put it back. My son asked me what had happened to the banana and I couldn't miss the opportunity, so I said:

Dad: "Son, the banana wasn't that a-peeling (appealing) this morning"

The groan from my wife, son and daughter was satisfying.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boozylightbeer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2016
🚨︎ report

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