You could say she was having a crisis
The ball was dropped at the ball drop.
She said, “Quit trying to make ‘fetch’ happen.”
I don't think anyone is shocked.
(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)
But will she leave me ?
Find out next week.
Had it over a year now. Has served me well.
He certainly has plenty of experience
Well, it was his birthday and he looks good in a dinner suit.
I mist it.
and then it hit me
And said “I guess the ball is working today!”. His first real joke. I’m so proud!
“oon”.
Now they’re under a buck.
Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
He was fired recently.
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '
Thank you for the awards
DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.
Then it hit me
A bad juggler...
She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”
She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.
Proud dad moment.
"That's the goal at least."
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
She had mittens.
well it came down.
The dad said “it’s a home-in-one”
Now our relationship is tainted.
Roll reversal
I had to get a running start but I made it!
A white christmas
Before anyone else says anything, it said,
"You better serve me here, or I'm taking you to court!"
Dead center.
She gagged.
The uncles.
“Because they have no balls to scratch”
Golf.
Light blue
Edit: Thank you fellow internet strangers for all the awards!
Pretty nuts am I right
Sparky!
