He knew he'd be pun-ished for his choice. http://explosm.net/comics/3853/
Studies can be pun as well
Do dad jokes have to be puns? This is what I made for mother's day. One for my wife and one for my mom
https://imgur.com/a/kFtji
Will glass coffins ever be popular?
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
From r/askreddit's thread "If your sex life was a country, what country would it be and why?"
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.
I dream to be this commenter one day.
Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot
How can there be a national coin shortage?
If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be.
No need to remind her every half hour.
0mg?! You gotta be sheeting me Doc!
maybe next year won't be better after all
Poor dude must be spaced out.
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
Those parents must be nuts
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....
If a friend left you 12 bottles of wine on your doorstep, would you be extremely....
My wife was hurrying me along and asking when things were going to be done so I asked her if she was my clone from Moscow. She looked confused and said "No, why?"
I said "Because you're Russian me."
As a child, my mum told me I could be whoever I wanted when I grew up...
...turns out that’s called identity theft and is illegal.
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...
Biden will NEVER, EVER be my president
because I live in Canada.
NASA scientists say it may be possible to live on Mars.
What a load of rubbish, I tried it and now I'm five stones heavier and diabetic.
Marine iguana's should be as legal as alcohol!
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
He’ll be cutting your grass
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
Did you know your nose can't be longer than 12 inches ?
Otherwise it will be a foot.
My son might not be the best roofer in the world
These could be the titles of two horror movies
It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.
No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.
This joke was going to be about cheese...
But it's not Gouda 'nuff.
I used to be a man stuck inside a womans body....
You must be a salad
Because I like how you’re dressing.
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
Just cost me a $1 to put air in my tyre, when before it used to be free.
I guess, that's inflation.
Saw this on r/unexpected, thought it was funny so here we are :) I’ll be sure to add the link to the OG post in the comments incase you wanna see it
When I die, I want to be cremated.
If justice was served hot, it would be justwater.
My wife asked me to be her Sugar Daddy
I said I can only afford to be your Salt Bae
Ewoks aren't meant to be left outside...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
