[Request] Need a terrible terrible just god awful pun

My girlfriend bet me I couldn't find a pun so bad that she'd tell me to shut up and fuck off and die. Naturally I want to prove her wrong. Any and all help is appreciated

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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Can't berr this awful pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSludge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
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I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/christiescrubbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Awful dad jokes and puns...

That's how eye roll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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did nt have enough karma for okbr so it goes here (that's why its just awful)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxixe007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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I tried street tacos for the first time and man they were awful

They tasted like asphalt!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/12mpclark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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You’re Awful

As in you fill me with awe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatSlipperySeal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.

Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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The guy running my town is awful. He doesn’t respond to phone calls because he only works after dark.

He’s a total night mayor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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What do you get when you combine an awful hair style and a singer?

A Perry Comover

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeye18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I went to the record store and bought a new album. It was awful...

I tried to get a refund. But I couldn't get my NickleBack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolly2284
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I own the world worst theasaurous. Not only is it awful...

But it's awful

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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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My friend wrote this book. It’s awful of puns. amazon.com/dp/1097511723/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterchiefpetty
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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My pet crow is awful at poker...

All he does is caw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simounstar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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Awful taste but great Exeggutor (Execution)
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mikehosy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Not all Math puns are awful.

Just sum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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Guys, I know why 2020 been so awful.

If we ever get to 2021. I will be endlessly talking people that `2020 is hindsight` and the sear terribleness of this pun got all god and Eldridge abominations to band up and try to end humanity before that happens. With this, earthly insight, I decided that everyone must be informed of the pun. It is, my and I can't die peacefully knowing it has not laid its mark on a mortal soul

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenflame15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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awful one but found it in a store so yum
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bananaistheanna
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Stop making awful new years jokes

Seriously, I've heard them for the entire decade so far.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lyreoz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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My mom told really an awful joke about concrete:(

Cement it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/strychinine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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Awful dad joke no one will get this

Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees?

Because they're so good at it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowmancowman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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Had an awful meal at a casino in Las Vegas

The chips tasted of plastic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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I'm still torturing my daughter with awful jokes

http://imgur.com/a/fKQmM

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoffevans
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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I suck at geometry because my high school teacher was awful.

She was always going off on tangents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ladykatertot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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My wife was just conned into buying an awful used mirror.

It reflects poorly on her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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People say Robert Mugabe was an awful dictator but

I was his secretary for a short while and I understood every word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGinuineOne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Just came up with this and my brother says it’s awful...

Why was the German egg depressed?

in German accent

Because his life is a yolk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/syncopatedsouls
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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I feel awful because I scolded my son after he gave me my 50th birthday card

But part of me feels justified because one would have been enough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulmessedupman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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Awful taste but great execution
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mooshi_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Bruno Mars’ β€œUptown Funk” Music Video Is God Awful

Don’t believe me? Just watch...

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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awful awful but its a pun. So here you go
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Creative_Name___
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
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I work as an EMT and just had a patient who got his entire left side cut off after an awful accident...

Don't worry, though, he's all right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaintTacoPanda
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Awful day...

My table just found out about my side table

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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I don't know about you, but lukewarm milk tastes udderly awful!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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I just read the world's worst thesaurus. It wasn't just awful...

...it was awful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrOrgasm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schiggy182
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

I think it may be terminal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it terminal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/torrenter_11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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I have this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.

My doctor says it’s terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s_tormbringr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

My doctor says it's terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

The doctor says it's terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

my doctor says it's terminal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

The doctor says it's terminal

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bgreenwood95
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
[At the restaurant] Her: This isn’t working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I have an awful illness where I can’t stop telling airport jokes...

... My doctor says it’s terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyktic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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