He took a leek
...Colby
βExcuse me, could you help me?β I asked.
He grunted in response, barely looking at me.
βUm, Iβm looking for a way to keep my dogs in my backyard. Do you know where those electric leashes are? Iβm trying to decide if I should try that or just block it off with a fence or something.β
He turned to face me and looked me up and down with disdain, βDo we look like a pet store?β And he turned around and walked away.
I took a fence.
She said, βDad, we are grocery shopping.β
You could say I completely wiped out.
They call it the Universal Cereal Bus.
You know Erin, I keep giving you away but they keep giving you back
Because it's volatile.
Picking his nose!
I was Ruthless in my pursuit.
Me: (tightening my black belt) I donβt know but he must be pretty strong.
So long, suckers!
"Cause I'm, stuck in the middle of hues~"
I was at the grocery store with my teenage brother and when we went through the produce aisle he turned to me and said " Something about this aisle makes me feel like a guy who's been in a coma for the last 20 years trying to figure out the slang he missed" " What?" You know, because that's some rad ish" I've never been prouder.
... But what kind of stocking stuffer do you get a stuffing stocker?
When my wife and I shop, she tends to go up and down the aisles, and I'll take a few trips to get hamburger, fish, whatever. So we're checking out and she notices I grabbed a pack of sausages.
"Wow that's a lot of sausages."
"Yeah, they were on sale. Super cheap."
"Sweet!"
"...actually, they're hot."
grinning intensifies
"LAME! OH THAT WAS LAME!"
maximum grinning
Shopping-
Me: Hey, is gnocchi vegan?
Dad: Of course it is! It's got gno-cheese!
Then a World Market employee four aisles away completely bowled over laughing, literally hooting and hollering. My dad has been strutting around all proud of his joke all day. I don't think I can ever go back there.
At the grocery store guy gets on the PA and announces "reminder, we've got a great sale in the produce department. Red grapes, green grapes, and black grapes all on sale for 99 cents/pound. It's a great deal"
So I turned to the lady next to me in the frozen aisle and said "more like a... Grape deal"
She just gave a small snort and rolled her eyes...
She said: "Dad, we are grocery shopping."
