Unidentified male charged with two completely different crimes in the produce aisle.

He took a leek

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gerbilena
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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A true story: My boyfriend and I were in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. He tosses a pack of sliced cheese into the cart it ricochets and falls to the floor. β€œKobe!” I shout. β€œNo.” He says in a disappointed tone...

...Colby

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Aisle B Back
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffbrownnoho
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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I was walking up the aisle at my local Home Depot and spotted a cranky looking old man in an orange vest.

β€œExcuse me, could you help me?” I asked.

He grunted in response, barely looking at me.

β€œUm, I’m looking for a way to keep my dogs in my backyard. Do you know where those electric leashes are? I’m trying to decide if I should try that or just block it off with a fence or something.”

He turned to face me and looked me up and down with disdain, β€œDo we look like a pet store?” And he turned around and walked away.

I took a fence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgold0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Aisle for Cereal Adulterers.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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I told my daughter, β€œIts always been my dream to walk you down the aisle.”

She said, β€œDad, we are grocery shopping.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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I was running down the aisle to grab the last package of toilet paper, but I slipped and fell before someone else grabbed it.

You could say I completely wiped out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kwoolery
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Did you hear the supermarket took its entire breakfast aisle, put it on a truck, and started giving items out all over town?

They call it the Universal Cereal Bus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamHR
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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As my dad was walking me down the aisle of my third wedding he goes...

You know Erin, I keep giving you away but they keep giving you back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chygurl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Why don't supermarkets have an aisle for wallets?

Because it's volatile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niceGuitar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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What was Frosty doing in the Vegetable Aisle?

Picking his nose!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZayroReave
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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When I lost Ruth in the grocery store, I destroyed nearly every aisle looking for her.

I was Ruthless in my pursuit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poppatop
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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Wandering the fruit aisle, looking for Peach.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boomstick3131
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2017
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My Home Depot Manager got us together for serious store meeting. He asked who was breaking all the lumber in the wood aisle.

Me: (tightening my black belt) I don’t know but he must be pretty strong.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImVladimirPutin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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What does a vacuum cleaner say to his brothers in the aisle when a customer takes him away ?

So long, suckers!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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What do you sing when you're stuck in the paint aisle at Home Depot?

"Cause I'm, stuck in the middle of hues~"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Littleartistan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Dadjoked in the produce aisle

I was at the grocery store with my teenage brother and when we went through the produce aisle he turned to me and said " Something about this aisle makes me feel like a guy who's been in a coma for the last 20 years trying to figure out the slang he missed" " What?" You know, because that's some rad ish" I've never been prouder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Realslimslendy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Trying to think of a small gift for my buddy who works the holiday aisle at my grocery store...

... But what kind of stocking stuffer do you get a stuffing stocker?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zhayton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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Got my wife in the grocery check out aisle.

When my wife and I shop, she tends to go up and down the aisles, and I'll take a few trips to get hamburger, fish, whatever. So we're checking out and she notices I grabbed a pack of sausages.

"Wow that's a lot of sausages."

"Yeah, they were on sale. Super cheap."

"Sweet!"

"...actually, they're hot."

grinning intensifies

"LAME! OH THAT WAS LAME!"

maximum grinning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soomuchcoffee
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2015
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We were in the pasta aisle, they were in home goods...

Shopping-

Me: Hey, is gnocchi vegan?

Dad: Of course it is! It's got gno-cheese!

Then a World Market employee four aisles away completely bowled over laughing, literally hooting and hollering. My dad has been strutting around all proud of his joke all day. I don't think I can ever go back there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anandora
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
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Dad joked the frozen aisle

At the grocery store guy gets on the PA and announces "reminder, we've got a great sale in the produce department. Red grapes, green grapes, and black grapes all on sale for 99 cents/pound. It's a great deal"

So I turned to the lady next to me in the frozen aisle and said "more like a... Grape deal"

She just gave a small snort and rolled her eyes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EndersBuggers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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I told my daughter, "it's always been my dream to walk you down the aisle."

She said: "Dad, we are grocery shopping."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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