What are CIA agents called when they go to sleep ?
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︎ Feb 10 2021
My real estate agent lied.. he said my house had 1000 carpet area
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..
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︎ Jan 17 2021
What does a CIA agent do when it's time for bed?
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Be an agent of change
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︎ Jan 05 2021
You want the names of the tiny shrimp secret agents?
Sure, I could tell you...but then Iβd have to krill you.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Why do secret agents get the best sleep...
Because theyβre always undercover.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
As a secret agent, my kids never know what I got them for Christmas..
I always keep the presents under wraps.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
A heavily armed man runs into an estate agent....Screaming....
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
What do you call a former FBI agent who now works delivering packages?
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?
They have a lot of properties.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
How to defeat Agent P in a swordfight.
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︎ Feb 10 2020
What do you call a Secret Agent Potato?
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︎ Jun 27 2020
hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
the scent of old spies gave him away
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︎ Mar 05 2020
I was brewing my first batch of beer with a friend and he told me to add the seed cones that are used primarily as a bittering, flavoring, and stability agents.
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︎ May 05 2020
Why did the FBI agent go to bed?
He needed to be undercover.
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︎ Apr 10 2020
I hear Matt Damon is making a new movie in Sweden about a CIA agent who can't remember the past...
The BjΓΆrn Identity is promising to be a good flick.
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︎ May 04 2020
Saw the damnedest thing at the airport. A vulture was trying to board the plane with a dead, rotting animal hanging out of its mouth. Gate agent tried to stop him...
...and the vulture said, "I'm clearly permitted one piece of carrion luggage."
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︎ Oct 10 2019
If you were dating a FBI agent and you broke up...
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︎ Feb 20 2018
Today my real estate agent showed me a house that had mirrors as siding
I could really see myself in it
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︎ Feb 07 2020
The Pentagon has a bakery where government agents learn secret recipes by mixing the ingredients themselves...
It operates on a knead to know basis.
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︎ Jan 01 2020
When my friend, a CIA agent, arrived at the hotel in Syria, dead insects were scattered all over the floor...
He had to sweep for bugs.
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︎ Dec 17 2019
Cattle Farmers respond to Federal Agents burning marijuana fields next door.
"In these troubled times, the steaks have never been higher."
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︎ Apr 09 2019
Ya know why we had to make the FBI agent leave the bar?
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︎ Nov 30 2019
Two male FBI agents went to dinner and a movie.
It was a federal man date.
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︎ Aug 14 2019
The secret service agents no longer shout "get down!" anymore.
They shout "Donald, duck!"
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︎ Oct 16 2019
My FBI agent is cool
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︎ Jun 19 2019
Is he a field agent? Does he always make straw-man arguments?
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︎ Jul 20 2018
Why do secret agents get the best sleep?
Because theyβre always undercover.
(My first original Dad joke. Inspired by my son)
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︎ May 03 2018
when two german agent walks into the pub in London during WW2
, and one of them said to the waiter:
- Two martini please.
The waiter:
- Dry?
- Nein! Zwei!
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︎ Aug 07 2019
Did you hear about the real estate agent who attended finishing school?
She now shows her manors.
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︎ Jun 28 2019
A photon was at the airport, checking in for its flight. The agent asks it if it has any luggage.
The photon says, "No, I'm a light traveler"
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︎ Jan 10 2019
What do you give a guy with a cold that is pretending to be a government agent?
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︎ Aug 02 2019
Checking in at a hotel and the front desk agent tells me they donβt have a bell hop for the night.
I told her they should get the Nobel Prize.
She just stared at me blankly for 8 seconds until she said.... βcheck out is at 10β
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︎ Jan 10 2019
Did you hear about that Christian secret agent?
His name was Jason Bourne again.
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︎ May 12 2019
What is an agent who works for Starbucks & Tim Hortons called?
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︎ Feb 19 2019
This espionage agent was so terrible at his job, they sent him to raise sheep instead
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︎ Nov 08 2018
What's the real estate agents favourite music genre?
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︎ Dec 23 2018
Peter Dinklage fired his agent today for incompetence.
The guy was constantly selling him short.
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︎ Nov 02 2018
My real estate agent lied to me.. he said that my house had 1000 carpet area
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs ..
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︎ Jan 17 2021
What does a CIA agent do when he goes to bed ?
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︎ Jan 04 2021
What does a CIA agent do when he sleeps?
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︎ Oct 30 2019
What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?
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︎ Nov 22 2019
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