Now they call me broker!

Earlier i only used to be broke...

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👤︎ u/Mdchris19
📅︎ Jul 05
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Did you guys hear about the investment broker that retired to run a celery farm?

It seems he made a killing on the stalk market.

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📅︎ Apr 10
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My quarantined stock broker was just arrested!

The SEC got him for insider trading.

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📅︎ Apr 04
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Santa is a terrible broker

He's always in the red

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👤︎ u/tikifire86
📅︎ Jul 23 2019
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My friend who is a stock broker on Wall Street wants to open a florist shop...

He wants to stop and sell the roses!

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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My broker says it's a bull market and I believe him...

Because he's a real expert when it comes to bull.

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📅︎ Feb 08 2019
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Working as a livestock broker is a rough job,

but it pays the bulls.

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📅︎ Jul 14 2018
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Where does a stock broker dock their boat?

Port folio.

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👤︎ u/x5685
📅︎ Mar 09 2017
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What do you call a guy that comes over and breaks the butt end off of grandad's old hunting rifle?

A stock broker

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👤︎ u/PharmDiddy
📅︎ Feb 02
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My dad is a real estate salesman. Today he tripped and fell on my sister...

He broker

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👤︎ u/khosa01
📅︎ Aug 29 2019
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Turnt up

Customer: How much is this TV?

Pawn Broker: Only $1

Customer: Why only $1?

Pawn Broker: The volume is stuck on the highest volume

Customer: So the volume is always turned up?

Pawn Broker: Yeah man

Customer: And it's only $1?

Pawn Broker: Yep

Customer: wow *looks towards you* I can't turn that down.

👍︎ 10
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📅︎ Dec 02 2018
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What do you call someone who buys and sells shrimp?

A Prawn Broker

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📅︎ Mar 08 2018
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A guy made a killing on the stock market today.

He shot his broker.

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👤︎ u/ScottyUrb
📅︎ Dec 14 2017
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Dad got me on Skype.

I was telling my parents who live abroad the process of flying my cat home from college in the US. "So after I contact a broker in the Animal Quarantine department there and get their details, I have to contact United again and give them all the info about Sammy: the broker's contact, age/weight, size of the kennel..." Dad: "Why do they need to know the broker's weight?!"

Uuuuugggghhhhh

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👤︎ u/FaceofHoe
📅︎ Mar 17 2015
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