I need to go on a power trip.
the one of the president of the united states is definitely my trump card
I have a Monday or Wednesday I can trade you for an extra Saturday or Sunday.
Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7pm? Because it’s crypto-night
that's what I call poetic injustice.
...but they do have Woodstock.
The web designer made it so that when you try to delete an ad you are prompted: 'Are you shoe you want to do this?'
They asked me to please Hold. 💎🤲
The kid behind the counter said, sorry we only take cash or credit cards
I got a little behind in my work
Best trade ever.
Our ancestors called it the prime-ore-deal soup
(Banana for scale)
There used to be two, but now they are just a sensitive topic.
Also: The real 9/11 pays respect! The world remembers 9/11.
He invited Lois Lane to visit. Her plane was late, and she called the house to ask directions. He answered and told her:
"Take the last train to Clark's villa, and I'll meet you at the station."
chicken noods
Did you hear about the red-headed cookie that broke it’s leg?
Gingersnap
Did you hear about the cookie that quietly laughs at other cookies’ drawings?
Snickerdoodle
Did you hear about the dessert that got cast in the bakery’s reboot of Indiana Jones: The Temple of Doom?
Shortbread
Did you hear about the friends the zombies are making in heaven?
Angel food
Did you hear about the Mushroom Kingdom princess that abdicated the throne to pursue the shoe repair trade?
Peach cobbler
Did you hear about the 49th state in the Union legalizing recreational marijuana?
Baked Alaska
Did you hear about the Bavarian teacher that filled up her blackboard every day?
German chocolate
Did you hear about the hip New York hotspots for citrus fruits?
Lemon bars
Did you hear about the mother's sister that really likes her nieces and nephews?
Fondant
Did you hear about people wagering money on a boxing match in the Arctic between a heavyweight champ and raspberries?
Sherbet
She said that I wasn't wired for it.....
Pho Ton Torpedoes.
(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)
It's been quite a shift.
My kid
Seriously, give me back my thumbs
I just got an 84-inch screen TV for my family. Not gonna lie, it was a pretty good trade.
Tit-for-Tatt
I want the best bang for my buck
Once upon a time there were numerous tribes in a jungle. Each tribe struggled to survive, and over time and as skills evolved, tribes began to trade goods with each other. One tribe learned the skills of architecture, and traded designs for safe grass houses with neighboring tribes for other necessities, such as food. Over time, the tribe grew quite rich, and without the need for goods the chief of the tribe demanded payment in the form of a tribute, an ornate throne. Over time the number of thrones the chief owned grew more and more numerous, so he had a great multi-story grass house built to store all of his thrones. One day, the weight of the thrones became so much the house collapsed, killing the chief. The moral of the story is… wait for it…
He who lives in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.
And now it's All We'll Drive!
It was a lemon.
Just from the first sentence, I knew he meant business.
Count Draculas.
Because she's a master of nun.
He needed Mordors
He's so gull-able!
They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.
So I’m starting a lumbar support group.
She was arrested for pasta-tution
My wife hit the roof
Pointing his firearm at two cashiers, he shouts “hand over the contents of the cash register! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession...you know, a habitual occupation followed for a livelihood and involving commercial transactions!”
Cashier 1: “What do we do?”
Cashier 2: “Do what he says, I think he means business!”
that was a really good trade
So I'm normally an electrician by trade, but work has been slow lately, so I've been helping one of his friends with some of the concrete work in a small housing development close to the shop. Well he came out and started talking to me about what I've gotten done since this morning, I told him and he goes "This is getting you great electrical experience!" I kinda laugh and reply back "Yeah, I'm learning all about grounding." He turned and walked away, but I about died laughing.
It was the best trade I've ever made.
Best trade I ever made
I got a gun for my wife....................
It was a GOOD trade!!!
