My real estate agent lied.. he said my house had 1000 carpet area

I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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A heavily armed man runs into an estate agent....Screaming....

Nobody move.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?

They have a lot of properties.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no-nope-nay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Today my real estate agent showed me a house that had mirrors as siding

I could really see myself in it

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomBradyGoat1212
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Did you hear about the real estate agent who attended finishing school?

She now shows her manors.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/regcrusher
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the real estate agents favourite music genre?

It's house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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I asked a real estate agent how much it would cost to buy a hockey stadium.

But she said she could only give me a ballpark estimate.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are real estate agents unnecessary?

Most houses come with a sellar.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealOneofseven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
How can you tell if a real estate agent is British?

They’re all about proper tea.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CouponTheMovie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked the real estate agent

My parents are selling the house and yesterday we had people checking it out along with the real estate agent.

Now I'm a metalhead and that's pretty obvious when you see my room. I got band posters and flags, loads of CD's and two guitars there.

So when it was all over, the agent came to me and told me I have a great taste of music. I told him I expected him to be more of a house guy. I don't think he got it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bwuhbwuh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
🚨︎ report
It's important to lose closely at lawn signs during election campaigns....

Last time I cast my vote for a real estate agent.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I can sell ice to eskimos.

I’m an estate agent.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeproductdesign
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I pulled this one on a client today

I was explaining something to a client and a real estate agent when I am interrupted by a Train whistle. I pause waiting for it to end.

I then continue my explanation. Only to get interrupted again for a good 15 seconds.

After it ends.

Me: Long pause.... I'm sorry I've lost my train of thought.

The agent chuckled. But I could hear everyone else rolling their eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gotelc
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2015
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Who did the fish call when he wanted to buy a house?

An eel estate agent

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyStunny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
As a sufferer of hyperacusis, I really needed to buy a nice, quiet home.

Well, the real estate agent sold this place to me as being somewhere "you can hear a pin drop".

And that's how I ended up buying the apartment right above a fricking bowling alley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Fodder

In sitting with our real estate agent the other night, he mentioned "you're good fodder" for proposing us as buyers to the sellers of our (now) newly purchased home.

I responded with "I know I'm a good fodder, but don't forget about the good mudder sitting next to me!"

Wife's instant eye roll and very vocal "ughhh" was enough to compel me to leave this here...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubstylee43
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2016
🚨︎ report
My real estate agent lied to me.. he said that my house had 1000 carpet area

I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs ..

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?

β€˜House’ it going?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DewritosOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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