This list of real estate puns is as geeky as it sounds, but worth it. punreal.com/2017/03/best-…
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BrainofJT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2017
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My real estate agent lied.. he said my house had 1000 carpet area

I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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A heavily armed man runs into an estate agent....Screaming....

Nobody move.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
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Why is real estate so big in Sweden right now?

Because they have a good stock of homes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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Graveyards take up so much real estate, it’s crazy!

No worries, cemeteries are a dying industry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ajanes88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2020
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Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?

They have a lot of properties.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/no-nope-nay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2020
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What type of real estate transactions do dwarves prefer?

Short sales.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/weaponG
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2020
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I’m buying an estate on a hill that is landscaped with nothing but hostas.

I’m calling it Vista la Hosta, baby!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GalenTK
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2020
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Napoleon was visiting a friend at his new estate. The friends great pride was his lavatory which was a big room with pottet plants, beautiful tapestries and carpets. When Napoleon saw this he was gobsmacked and exclaimed "What a loo!"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/operasmurf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Today my real estate agent showed me a house that had mirrors as siding

I could really see myself in it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TomBradyGoat1212
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2020
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The God of Thunder went into real estate.

He's quite the realthor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2019
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My friend used to take care of the lawn on a rich man's estate but now runs a coffee wholesale store...

He calls it The Groundskeeper.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2019
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I used to be in charge of my aging parents estate, but my brother was bitten by a radioactive lawyer.

Now he has the power of attorney

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2019
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I think I want to quit my real estate job. I’d rather clean mirrors for a living.

It’s just something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chota_chotu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2019
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Did you hear about the real estate agent who attended finishing school?

She now shows her manors.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/regcrusher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2019
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/heretik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2018
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What three things are most important to bats about their local real estate?

Echolocation Echolocation Echolocation

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChrisCGCThree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2019
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What's the real estate agents favourite music genre?

It's house.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2018
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Being an estate lawyer is really just a battle of wills.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/green_DM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2019
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Prime Real Estate
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZombieTurtle2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2018
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A French nobleman's estate was destroyed during the French Revolution.

The results were chΓ’teau-strophic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sonbulan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2018
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I asked a real estate agent how much it would cost to buy a hockey stadium.

But she said she could only give me a ballpark estimate.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2018
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I thought becoming a real estate agent would be easy

but apparently I had a lot to learn

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2019
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When it comes to board games about buying real estate,

Hasbro has a monopoly.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rats-in-parachutes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2018
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Why are real estate agents unnecessary?

Most houses come with a sellar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RealOneofseven
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2018
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How can you tell if a real estate agent is British?

They’re all about proper tea.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CouponTheMovie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2018
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Dadjoked the real estate agent

My parents are selling the house and yesterday we had people checking it out along with the real estate agent.

Now I'm a metalhead and that's pretty obvious when you see my room. I got band posters and flags, loads of CD's and two guitars there.

So when it was all over, the agent came to me and told me I have a great taste of music. I told him I expected him to be more of a house guy. I don't think he got it.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bwuhbwuh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2015
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Tough Real Estate Market

It seems like every time we passed a cemetery with my father in the car, he'd say, "Look at that beautiful place. People are just dying to get in there! And such quiet neighbors, too." Dad worked for Good Humor, can you tell?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/phatbatt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2015
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While visiting George Washington's estate, Mount Vernon...

My Dad went inside the old outhouse and said "It says here, for a good time call Martha!" at which point he stepped outside the door, put his hands up to his mouth and called "MAAARTHAAA!!!"

To me at age 10, this was the funniest thing he ever said.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DontFuckWithMyMoney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2013
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My real estate agent lied to me.. he said that my house had 1000 carpet area

I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs ..

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?

β€˜House’ it going?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DewritosOfficial
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2019
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