Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?

They have a lot of properties.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/no-nope-nay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Today my real estate agent showed me a house that had mirrors as siding

I could really see myself in it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomBradyGoat1212
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Did you hear about the real estate agent who attended finishing school?

She now shows her manors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/regcrusher
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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What's the real estate agents favourite music genre?

It's house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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I thought becoming a real estate agent would be easy

but apparently I had a lot to learn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I asked a real estate agent how much it would cost to buy a hockey stadium.

But she said she could only give me a ballpark estimate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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Why are real estate agents unnecessary?

Most houses come with a sellar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealOneofseven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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How can you tell if a real estate agent is British?

They’re all about proper tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CouponTheMovie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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Dadjoked the real estate agent

My parents are selling the house and yesterday we had people checking it out along with the real estate agent.

Now I'm a metalhead and that's pretty obvious when you see my room. I got band posters and flags, loads of CD's and two guitars there.

So when it was all over, the agent came to me and told me I have a great taste of music. I told him I expected him to be more of a house guy. I don't think he got it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bwuhbwuh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
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I can sell ice to eskimos.

I’m an estate agent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeproductdesign
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Who did the fish call when he wanted to buy a house?

An eel estate agent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyStunny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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As a sufferer of hyperacusis, I really needed to buy a nice, quiet home.

Well, the real estate agent sold this place to me as being somewhere "you can hear a pin drop".

And that's how I ended up buying the apartment right above a fricking bowling alley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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I pulled this one on a client today

I was explaining something to a client and a real estate agent when I am interrupted by a Train whistle. I pause waiting for it to end.

I then continue my explanation. Only to get interrupted again for a good 15 seconds.

After it ends.

Me: Long pause.... I'm sorry I've lost my train of thought.

The agent chuckled. But I could hear everyone else rolling their eyes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gotelc
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2015
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Fodder

In sitting with our real estate agent the other night, he mentioned "you're good fodder" for proposing us as buyers to the sellers of our (now) newly purchased home.

I responded with "I know I'm a good fodder, but don't forget about the good mudder sitting next to me!"

Wife's instant eye roll and very vocal "ughhh" was enough to compel me to leave this here...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubstylee43
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2016
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What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?

β€˜House’ it going?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DewritosOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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