43 Hilarious Again Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Cashier: Sir can I have your card again?

Me: its a sweater and no you can't have it.

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📅︎ Dec 20 2020

My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...

Ahh. I get it. It’s a viscous cycle.

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👤︎ u/PocketCornbread

📅︎ Dec 06 2020

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This may have been posted before but it’s to Gouda not to share again

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👤︎ u/TotalSnark

📅︎ Dec 14 2020

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They jailed the insomniac again...

He was resisting a rest

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👤︎ u/linkhandford

📅︎ Dec 11 2020

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I saw an insect that was trying to jump on a fat guy's chest again and again.

I think it's preying man tits.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity

📅︎ Dec 02 2020

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My friend Peter keeps saying the same things over again.

So I nicknamed him Re-Peter.

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👤︎ u/DENelson83

📅︎ Nov 20 2020

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Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:

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👤︎ u/danarchist

📅︎ Nov 09 2020

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Stores are running out of toilet paper again.

They’re wiped out.

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👤︎ u/Entree_The_Giant

📅︎ Nov 17 2020

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My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”

I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”

👍︎ 9k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 22 2020

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Gravity, one of the most basic forces in the Universe. But then again, if you remove it...

You still have Gravy

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👤︎ u/the_houser

📅︎ Nov 11 2020

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With the crazy year 2020 has been, if Trump wins again would it be... arMAGAddon?

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👤︎ u/gr8ums

📅︎ Oct 08 2020

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What do you call a dentist agains fascism?

Anteetha

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👤︎ u/Rockybo22

📅︎ Nov 11 2020

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Say what again?

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👤︎ u/ibajaks

📅︎ Sep 28 2020

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I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.

also in the news:

Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.

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👤︎ u/kickypie

📅︎ Oct 02 2020

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My 9-year-old son Luke was forgetting to use his cutlery again at dinner.

So in my best Obi-Wan Kenobi voice I said, "Luke, use the fork!"

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👤︎ u/Select-Atmosphere110

📅︎ Oct 17 2020

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After finishing our meal, my date said we should have dinner again

I told her I’m too full now

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👤︎ u/chumbleechips

📅︎ Nov 03 2020

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The prison fundraising boxing tournament was on again off again

The warden had to weigh the pros and cons

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👤︎ u/darkstarman

📅︎ Nov 01 2020

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He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...

He's just Biden his time

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👤︎ u/shdchko

📅︎ Oct 29 2020

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My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.

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👤︎ u/MetalJunkie101

📅︎ Apr 26 2020

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Damn birds got us again

👍︎ 6k

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👤︎ u/knorke3

📅︎ Feb 28 2020

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The Indianapolis Colts lost again today, and now everyone is mad at Google Maps...

...because any idiot could have told them to take Teddy Bridgewater over Philip Rivers.

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👤︎ u/PolytroposJ

📅︎ Oct 12 2020

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My dad said if he see me browsing reddit again, he'll smash my head to the keyboard

I guess hezsjkfowgajqjhsjwkwlsvvcaxxacfasuoc

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👤︎ u/sexxc

📅︎ Mar 07 2020

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Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: “Noah, it is my wish that you build another ark.”

Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”

“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.

“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.

“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.

A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”

“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.

Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”

“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”

“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.

And God said: “I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”

Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.

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👤︎ u/Dongwaffler

📅︎ Oct 08 2020

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America is at it again

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👤︎ u/Lotus_Lettuce

📅︎ Aug 20 2020

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What is it called when you die and are born again as a hillbilly?

Reintarnation

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👤︎ u/Valkyrie1500

📅︎ Jun 26 2020

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Wife: Can I have the card again?

Me: You know I don’t own any sweaters.

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👤︎ u/Surch22

📅︎ Oct 09 2020

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My kid asked me again how variables work

I sighed and said, "Okay, for the nth time..."

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👤︎ u/billbixbyakahulk

📅︎ Aug 04 2020

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I saw a cop zap a criminal with a Taser, but then shocked him again when he was already on the ground...

The first one was probably justified, the the second one was just re-volting.

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👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker

📅︎ Aug 15 2020

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After the Sex change operation, The Juggler is too scared to try juggling again.

It seems he doesn’t have the balls to do it again.

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👤︎ u/Lord_Aarsh

📅︎ Aug 28 2020

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Attacked by Wendy again.

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👤︎ u/orlanthi

📅︎ Jul 09 2020

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The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.

I was crushed by the news.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat

📅︎ Jul 01 2020

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It's back... Again!

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👤︎ u/AsAP0Verlord

📅︎ Aug 02 2020

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My son asked me today what déjà vu meant as some bet. I pretended I didn't hear him to make him ask me again so I could teach him.

So he yelled, "Hey - ya new tent has come I bet!" as he ran to the door

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👤︎ u/NoMoreTerritory

📅︎ Sep 21 2020

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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again...

I love to reiterate.

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👤︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27

📅︎ Aug 07 2020

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I really hope I don't get addicted to German sausage again

Those days were the Wurst.

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👤︎ u/bryanBr

📅︎ Aug 11 2020

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I'm never using stick deodorant again...

The instructions said " remove cap and push up bottom"

I can hardly walk.

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👤︎ u/Richo_HATS2

📅︎ Jul 05 2020

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Say that again? Over.

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👤︎ u/MrGriffibs

📅︎ Jul 06 2020

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I’ve posted this before but you guys didn’t recognize the brilliance of it so I’m posting it again because fuck you that’s why

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👤︎ u/ExWaifuPillow

📅︎ Jun 13 2020

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I dropped my jar of herbs. After I picked them all up, my cat knocked the jar over again

Picking them up yet again was such a waste of thyme

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👤︎ u/Pusilli

📅︎ Sep 02 2020

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My neighbor came over again to tell me about his new lawn, so I told him to get lost.

I’ve heard enough of his sod stories.

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👤︎ u/fish_and_chisps

📅︎ Aug 20 2020

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If I were doing any better, I’d be twins. Then again...

If I were twins, I’d be beside myself.

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👤︎ u/andersonfmly

📅︎ Aug 17 2020

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If you get released from a mental institutional, and then get committed again-

is that re-psychoing?

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👤︎ u/guavacadus

📅︎ Jul 09 2020

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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again...

I love to reiterate.

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👤︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27

📅︎ Aug 07 2020

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