After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited us for a party afterwards.

It was the Father, the Son, and the Goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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I told my son a joke and afterwards he asked me where i came up with it

I told him I Reddit

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/De_Salvation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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I've had a chiropractor phobia extending from a childhood trauma. Wife finally convinced me to get my back checked out and treated. Wife afterwards: See, that wasn't too bad

Me: it was an adjustment

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparxican
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Told my wife I was going with the kids to get glasses. She asked what we'll be doing afterward.

I said, "we'll see"

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imagoblinshark
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I've heard that after a beheading, one remains aware for a few seconds afterwards

If that ever happens to you, quit while you're ahead

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefrechiest_fry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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One time I lowered my standards when it came to a girl but I told my friends afterwards the girl was hot like a summer day in the Sahara. You could say I metaphor.

Get it? Met-a-four?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raging64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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My ten year old fist bumps me and does the 'exploding hand' afterwards ...

After he explodes his hand I look down at my still clenched fist. I slowly raise it near my ear confused and shake it. I then explode it in my face almost knocking me off me feet. I look at him sternly and say, "You could have killed me."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twisted_Logic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
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It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving for weeks afterward.

Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help.

Helium doesn't react.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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What type of cruel individual would cut off a person's hair, throw it away and then to add insult to injury, take their money afterwards???

Such a practice sounds barbarous to me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomproject
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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My daughter had some rumbly noises going on in her diaper while she was eating her snack today. Afterward I checked her diaper. Bracing myself, I was surprised to find she pulled a Vladimir

There was no poop. She was just Putin.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CowboyFromSmell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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Got dad-joked by my dad and he didn't realize it until afterward.

Me: There's a dense fog rolling into Cleveland from the lake.

Dad: That's eErie.

pause

followed by laughter on both ends

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JMRoss90
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2015
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Dadjoked my girlfriend so good I couldn't stop giggling afterwards.

I asked if she wanted me to pour her a glass of water ('cause I'm a gentleman yo) and she said 'yes please'. I said 'say stop'.

start pouring

'Thank you'

keep pouring

'That's enough..'

keep pouring

'STOP!'

stop pouring and smile like an idiot

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZacharyChief
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2014
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My sister got mad afterwards

Have you heard the newly evolved form of Ebola? It's much more dangerous. . . It's called Eplata

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/totallynotcake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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He kept making his seal noise laugh and smacking his knee afterwards.

Dad: Hey is that burger place "Five Guys" good?

Me: Yeah it's okay but it's pretty damn expensive.

Dad: We should go to "One Guy" than... I bet it'll be cheaper!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xMIKEx714x
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2014
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After my son’s team won the tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us to a party afterwards.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited us for a party afterwards.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
After my son’s soccer game, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report

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