1st cow: What do you mean, baaaaa? Don't you mean moooo?
2nd cow: I'm learning a foreign language.
(Once read that in some joke book)
Jeff Pesos.
Because Han Solo told C3P0 to never tell him the odds!
What can I say, I knead the dough
I now wash my hands of all COVID-19-related April Fool's jokes.
Because there’s a Shortstop in between!
Rolling back 40 yrs or so, here's the story I told to my 2nd grade class.
To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found. Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole out. Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes. Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.
And when an Elephant comes to take a Pea, you kick him in the Ash-Hole!
Everyone about died. Hell, even the teacher and principal were laughing about it. Dad was amused. Mom was not.
She’s an Aqueerius
He said, "Okay, you're ugly too ".
That's a different story.
It’s shadow
Hey always enjoyed a good roast
A truly biczar situation
Dont thread on me.
But I'll take a shot at it!
https://imgur.com/a/Q5u1gKv
This ain't my first rodeo
T O D A Y
(Can be used any day, any year!)
Girlfriend sent a text to tell me her bus was late.
GF: Jesus Christ just got out at University St.
Me: Wow! Did he heal any lepers or anything?
GF: There should have been a period after Christ.
Me: There is! It's called A.D.
We were at her place and watched a movie - I know, really romantic, right? She had a kitten who was climbing all over me, sitting in my lap, shedding all over me, pretty much the whole night.
At the end of the date before I turned to leave, I said "You know, I was hoping I'd get a little pussy tonight!"
Little did I know that dad joke was the start - she's now my wife and mother to two wonderful children.
We are watching a dumb hallmark Christmas movie and the main guy owns a coffee shop. He is getting married and I make fun of the fact that his vows are all coffee puns.
So my girl yells, "well, he is a coffee person!"
Me- "no babe, he is just a human person."
(Her laugh was really a slight chuckle and a "you're so dumb", but dammit, I am taking the win!)
A woman goes to the hospital after a car accident. After a few x-rays a doctor sits down with her and says: "I'm sorry ma'am, it appears you have a broken arm."
Obviously flustered the woman exclaims: "I want a second opinion!"
The doctor thinks for a moment and then replies: "okay, you're ugly"
...and the TVs are already playing Christmas commercials!
As soon as we get there: "Thethe movie theats are making my ath so Thor"
Because there is a shortstop in between.
Because there’s a Shortstop in between!
Because there’s a Shortstop in between!
Because there’s a short stop between 2nd and 3rd
Because there’s a shortstop.
