1st pun of the day
What do you call a dictionary on drugs? HIGH-Definition
Who was the 1st person to win the Nobel Prize?
Same person who invented the Door Knock...
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
When I first met my wife,she wanted our 1st sexual experience to be like a fairytale.
So, I invited 7 dwarves to join in.
1st cow: mooooo. 2nd cow: baaaaaa
1st cow: What do you mean, baaaaa? Don't you mean moooo?
2nd cow: I'm learning a foreign language.
(Once read that in some joke book)
Why are so many medical examiners hired on January 1st?
It's always, "New Year, new ME"
On January 1st 2021, we'll have perfect 2020 hindsight
What did Adam say to Eve on December 31st and Jan 1st?
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
My dad is eagerly waiting for the 1st Jan 2021
So he can say "I have not seen you since last year"
My 1st meeting
Went to my 1st Rotary club meeting.. surprisingly has nothing to do with old phones..
A man asks a woman: "when is your birthday?". To which the girl replies: "March 1st"
Man : *immediately starts marching around the room and says "so can you tell me now?"
Why are so many people tired on April 1st?
they just finished a 31 day March.
It’s October 1st. Just checking:
Did anyone wake up Green Day today?
I asked a friend when's her birthday. She told me: 'March 1st'.
So I started marching and asked her again.
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...
The were The Ruff Riders.
I spent the weekend building my 1st foot-manipulated keyboard for the office.
It's my prototype Pro Toe Type.
I literally dreamed this joke last night. Help me.
There’s been rumours that all the letters of the alphabet have been stolen apart from the 1st, 15th and 11th...
...But don’t worry! Everything is gonna be A-O-K.
What do you call a hammer bought in april 1st?
Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?
Because there’s a Shortstop in between!
Just made up my 1st dad joke, that I can think of after being a father for 3 and a half years.
I'm pushing my shopping cart to the cart corral after this loading my car with groceries. This lady is walking to the store and asks "Is that a good one" I says "yeah, I just had her tuned up" and then " it runs pretty smooth". All I got was a smile from her but I couldn't stop laughing on the inside myself.
My dad can't wait for January 1st
It'll be the first time we'll be in 20/20
1st comment is for the plot
Before the 1st i feel like a baker
I always tell the students I tutor Dad Jokes. A 1st grader tried to tell one of his own today...
Again....this is from a 1st grader...
Knock knock
Who's there
A panda Bear
A panda bear who?
No, you're supposed to say What Panda Bear...
Ok What panda bear?
Umm......a tiger?
Not a dad joke...but I laughed anyway
Got dadjoked by a 1st grader today
He was putting his shoes on and I noticed he put them on the wrong feet. I told him, "Hey you put your shoes on the wrong feet!" He looked down and thought for a second, then said, "I don't have any other feet."
Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?
They just went through a grueling 31 day March.
Why were the soldiers so tired on April 1st?
They just got done with a 31 day March!
Why does it take longer to get from 2nd base to 3rd than from 1st to 2nd?
Because there is a shortstop in between.
Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?
Because there’s a Shortstop in between!
Why am I always so tired on 1st April ...
... because I’ve just endured a 31 day March
Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?
Because there’s a Shortstop in between!
You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st because it's only the first date.
Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?
Because they just finished a long 31 day march.
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