1st pun of the day

What do you call a dictionary on drugs? HIGH-Definition

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Blueapronboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2019
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Who was the 1st person to win the Nobel Prize?

Same person who invented the Door Knock...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flash_Dimension
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2021
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Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?

Because it's only the first date

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chandan_2294
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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When I first met my wife,she wanted our 1st sexual experience to be like a fairytale.

So, I invited 7 dwarves to join in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2021
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What follows March 1st?

March: 2, 3, 4!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jonnyabcde
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2021
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1st cow: mooooo. 2nd cow: baaaaaa

1st cow: What do you mean, baaaaa? Don't you mean moooo?

2nd cow: I'm learning a foreign language.

(Once read that in some joke book)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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Why are so many medical examiners hired on January 1st?

It's always, "New Year, new ME"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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On January 1st 2021, we'll have perfect 2020 hindsight
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CarlSaganIsDead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
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What did Adam say to Eve on December 31st and Jan 1st?

Happy New Years Eve

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a_user_has_no_shame
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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March 1st
πŸ‘οΈŽ 193
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TechnoIsHere
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada

is it a 34 degree murder in the US?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 503
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FriezaAndHoushi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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My dad is eagerly waiting for the 1st Jan 2021

So he can say "I have not seen you since last year"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bonp27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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hey 1st post here
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chris95rx7500
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2020
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My 1st meeting

Went to my 1st Rotary club meeting.. surprisingly has nothing to do with old phones..

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Scouter1973
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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A man asks a woman: "when is your birthday?". To which the girl replies: "March 1st"

Man : *immediately starts marching around the room and says "so can you tell me now?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DarkKray35
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2020
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Happy 1st of July
πŸ‘οΈŽ 306
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chchnz88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2020
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Why are so many people tired on April 1st?

they just finished a 31 day March.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JaimesGotAGun
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2020
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It’s October 1st. Just checking:

Did anyone wake up Green Day today?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justoutofwaldorfs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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I asked a friend when's her birthday. She told me: 'March 1st'.

So I started marching and asked her again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wendru
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
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TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...

The were The Ruff Riders.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2020
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I spent the weekend building my 1st foot-manipulated keyboard for the office.

It's my prototype Pro Toe Type.

I literally dreamed this joke last night. Help me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brousch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2020
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There’s been rumours that all the letters of the alphabet have been stolen apart from the 1st, 15th and 11th...

...But don’t worry! Everything is gonna be A-O-K.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zorn07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2020
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What do you call a hammer bought in april 1st?

April tool

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/9874123456
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2020
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Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2019
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1st rate date
πŸ‘οΈŽ 270
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jussymane
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2018
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Just made up my 1st dad joke, that I can think of after being a father for 3 and a half years.

I'm pushing my shopping cart to the cart corral after this loading my car with groceries. This lady is walking to the store and asks "Is that a good one" I says "yeah, I just had her tuned up" and then " it runs pretty smooth". All I got was a smile from her but I couldn't stop laughing on the inside myself.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rnembrane
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2019
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My dad can't wait for January 1st

It'll be the first time we'll be in 20/20

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrazyQueen502
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2019
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1st comment is for the plot
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DPNx_DEATH_xPL
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2019
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Before the 1st i feel like a baker

Kneading dough

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sk_sk_skrrrt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2019
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I always tell the students I tutor Dad Jokes. A 1st grader tried to tell one of his own today...

Again....this is from a 1st grader...

Knock knock

Who's there

A panda Bear

A panda bear who?

No, you're supposed to say What Panda Bear...

Ok What panda bear?

Umm......a tiger?

Not a dad joke...but I laughed anyway

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Talon184
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2019
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Happy Octobear 1st!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GaggingOrphan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2018
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Got dadjoked by a 1st grader today

He was putting his shoes on and I noticed he put them on the wrong feet. I told him, "Hey you put your shoes on the wrong feet!" He looked down and thought for a second, then said, "I don't have any other feet."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/themailman098
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2015
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Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?

They just went through a grueling 31 day March.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 162
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/million_monkeys
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2020
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It’s April 1st...

Happy April Flu’s Day!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2020
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Why were the soldiers so tired on April 1st?

They just got done with a 31 day March!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/getswole717
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2020
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Why does it take longer to get from 2nd base to 3rd than from 1st to 2nd?

Because there is a shortstop in between.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/amie71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2019
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Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2019
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Why am I always so tired on 1st April ...

... because I’ve just endured a 31 day March

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2019
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Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2019
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You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st because it's only the first date.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/citiesofsilver
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2014
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Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?

Because they just finished a long 31 day march.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uhummmmmm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2019
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