i'd tell you a joke about bones. but it probably wont be a humerus as it should be. tibia honest, it doesnt have a lot of back bone put into it. it'll just make me seem like a numb skull anyways so, imma go skullking in the bar. see ya
1 for Kitti and 1 for Daniela
Figured that /r/dadjokes may like this. I think Nintendo is up to something punny.
http://i.imgur.com/An9w3pH.png
but I canβt put my finger on it.
πΆ Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie πΆ
So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)
Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"
My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"
...Pls send help
I can see it so clearly.
The performer notices they have a rather poor view, so stands on a large box, asking 'Can you see me better now?' They reply:
'Yes' 'Oui' 'Si' 'Ja'
It tocked too much.
I went to the grocery store, and the change was $5.02, so on my ride home, I perfected the ultimate plan for a dad who loves dad jokes...
Me: Oh, here's the change *hands 5.00 bill*
Dad: You can set the groceries on the counter
Me: Oh by the way, do you want my two cents on the groceries?
Dad: *confused look* o...kay?
Me: *hands receipt and two pennies*
It took a minute for him to realize but everyone got a good laugh out of it.
(Sorry For Not Posting, I Was Busy)
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
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Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
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I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
(Source For All Puns: https://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F&cat=0&sub=0&page=1)
They lost my case.
You have my word.
(My dad put wrote this on the fridge, pls don't kill)
You should have seen the Luke on her face
It does indeed exist
so i called him a racist
p.s do i need to make this nsfw? i'm not sure so pls don't remove
Hi fellow punlovers,
I'm asking for your help. I really want to ask a girl out to prom this year and we have an inside joke going on about Pingu (I know it's random). I've been trying to come up with good puns but can't come up with a Pingu-related one. Is there anyone who can help me out with this pls?
Thank you so much and have a nice day :)
It was called Diffi cult.
The answer is simple, I just find dad chokes hilarious.
The first says to the second, βAre you a Singer?β
The second replies, βWhy, Janome?β
The third remarks, βOh, Brother!β
Karmamel apples
I work in a hotel reception. A couple with a baby came in and walked up to my desk.
> Dad: "Do you have anywhere we could change our baby?"
> Me: "I'm sorry sir, we don't swap them out without a receipt."
He signed a Non-Com(pl)ete Agreement
http://imgur.com/gallery/03imq/new
Because he always stays in the Lois Lane
Kill me pls
Because seven was a registered six offender.
I'll tell ya later.
