Doggo do pun
π︎ 25
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
How do you get a farm girl to like you?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Why do bouncers throw violent drunks out the back door?
Because they belong behind bars.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
9yo shared this one with me: What do you call a cow who just had a baby?
De-calf-inated!
Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cΔlf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?
You look for fresh prints
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
How often do pirate attacks occur?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
What do you call a happy cowboy?
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet long?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
What do call a bike trail that shows no empathy.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
π︎ 127
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
Do you want hair, with more volume?
πππ
π£HAAAAIIIIIRπ£
π︎ 314
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
Why do women have a difficult time working for the postal service?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
Let's see what y'all do to continue this
π︎ 62
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.
π︎ 798
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
What do you call a bounty hunter with no underwear?
π︎ 138
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
What do you call a magician who's lost his magic ?
π︎ 141
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
What gender pronouns do chocolates use?
π︎ 523
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Why do chicken coops always have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 they would be a chicken sedan!
π︎ 113
π
︎ Mar 01 2021
Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
Do you know whats the best thing about dead batteries?
π︎ 143
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?
π︎ 321
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
Do you know?
π︎ 78
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?
Ham boogers.
I know, I know, snot funny.
-Edit-
Thanks for the awards guys! First silver! :-D
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?
π︎ 168
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you call a typo on a headstone?
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
My calculator only has enough power left to do one calculation
I really have to make it count
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
What do you call a teenager who never grows up?
π︎ 282
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?
π︎ 317
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??
An Optical Aleutian
Iβll see myself out...
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
What do you call a big, slowly spinning wheel made of iron?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
π︎ 49
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
Do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is?
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
What do you call a horny square?
π︎ 92
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
What do you do with a dead chemist?
π︎ 70
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
What do you call the pink fleshy bits between sharks teeth?
π︎ 115
π
︎ Mar 01 2021
My wife said, βYou really have no sense of direction, do you?β
I said, βWhere did that come from?β
Edit: Thanks for the love. Iβm right speechless.
π︎ 18k
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
What do call a Grandma on speed dial?
π︎ 59
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
If a lawyer gets a hip replacement surgery, do they call the procedure a rebuttal?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
Why do astronauts use linux?
Because they can't open windows
π︎ 168
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
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