A-door-able Valentineβs Puns
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My brotherβs pun game is strong...
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︎ Jun 23 2020
There was a man who entered a local paperβs pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns hoping at ο»Ώleast one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, ο»Ώno pun in ten did.
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︎ Apr 05 2017
I took a job as the head of Old McDonaldβs farm
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︎ May 29 2021
In honor of Motherβs Day, Iβd just like to say,
βthank you for your cervix.β
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︎ May 09 2021
Thatβs a moray
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Pandoraβs box wasnβt actually a box.
In fact, all the trouble started because it was ajar.
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︎ May 09 2021
My wife called me at work and said βitβs time, the baby is comingβ
I said thatβs impossible, Labor Day is in September!
(New dad of a 3 week old, trying to step into my new role)
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︎ May 01 2021
Whatβs the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I have a pun for you guys, itβs a one liner
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︎ May 13 2021
Whatβs a foot long and slippery?
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︎ May 27 2021
Need a new roof? Let me recommend my sisterβs all female company...
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︎ May 30 2021
Knock knock. Whoβs there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who?
Who cares itβs pointless.
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︎ May 23 2021
Whatβs the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a commaβs a pause at the end of a clause.
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︎ May 06 2021
I told my daughter, βGo to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.β Puzzled, she asked, βWhatβs that got to do with anything?β I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
"Itβs pasture bedtime!β
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︎ Mar 26 2021
My 4 year old sonβs first dad joke
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Iβm sure someone else invented it but I couldnβt be prouder.
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︎ May 31 2021
What is Dr. Pepperβs PHD in?
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︎ May 31 2021
Dad, do you know why itβs so dark at night?
No sun
EDIT: oh my god 1k upvotes! THIS like, tripled my post karma. You guys are incredible. Much love!
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︎ May 14 2021
Whatβs the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I donβt know and I donβt care.
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︎ May 30 2021
My dad wanted to post something on Reddit and I told him thereβs specific subs he would want to post on and certain ways to post
And he responded βoh so thereβs reddiquette to it thenβ
(Also heβs on Reddit now so if he sees this then hi dad)
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︎ May 04 2021
Bullβs eye
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︎ May 30 2021
Whatβs the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I am sick of my friendβs nonstop puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti still insists on doing it.
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︎ May 20 2021
Got a yearβs worth of family
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︎ May 18 2021
This oneβs a little tender
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︎ May 28 2021
Soup (I know itβs from Instagram but thatβs why I kept the @ of the account in)
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︎ May 31 2021
Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How do you know which oneβs a prostitute?
The one with the stickers that says IDAHO π
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︎ May 16 2021
My daughter told me nothing rhymes with orange. I told her sheβs wrong.
Nothing and orange have completely different ending sounds.
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︎ Apr 17 2021
Whatβs the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?
If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
Heβs wright!
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︎ Mar 16 2021
I switched all the labels on my wifeβs spice rack
She doesnβt know it yet, but her thymeβs cumin
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︎ May 01 2021
This oneβs on a whole new level
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︎ May 12 2021
Thereβs a new virus out called the Peekaboo virus!
They recommend if you catch it to proceed straight to the ICU.
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︎ May 19 2021
Itβs kind of sad that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Which one of King Arthurβs knights named the Round Table?
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︎ May 18 2021
At least heβs trying
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︎ Feb 27 2021
Whatβs the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
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︎ May 19 2021
Itβs sad the neighborhood went down the crapper
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Whatβs long, strong, bendable and has the letters p, i, n, s, e?
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︎ May 28 2021
What is Medusaβs favorite cheese?
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︎ May 22 2021
βSo whatβs it like living in the mountains?β
Itβs got itβs ups and downs
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Thereβs no way anyone can make spaghetti better than my Mom.
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︎ May 21 2021
My mom thanked me for coming to visit for Motherβs Day.
I said βthanks for having me.β
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︎ May 10 2021
What do you call an acid thatβs a bully?
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︎ May 07 2021
Oh thatβs terrible
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︎ May 30 2021
Did you hear about the electricianβs accident?
yeah he was in for a shock!
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︎ May 16 2021
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, whatβs on the outside?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Now I know why itβs called Pulp Fiction
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︎ May 19 2021
Boss canβt see her employeeβs hard work
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︎ May 09 2021
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