When I was younger I had to work in a cheap pizza shop to get by.
When I was much younger, I asked my dad, "Can I use the lawnmower to make some extra money?"
"Sure, go ahead."
So, I sold it.💰
My eldest wanted to know why I wouldn't lend him any of my tools, but I let his younger brother, the prodigal son, borrow whatever equipment he wants.
Simple, I said, the prodigal son returns...
When I was younger, I felt like a man, trapped inside a woman body.
The secret to looking younger....
....is telling people that you're older.
An old man owned a dolphin and some children asked him why. The old man smiled and said, "When I was younger, my dreams were crushed, so I bought the dolphin because..."
"Buying him gave me a porpoise in life."
Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
My younger brother is Russian.
The younger generations may not get this one!
I wish Disney+ had decided to make Grogu the younger sibling of Yoda.
Then he could be named Broda.
My dad was a great magician when I was younger
He went out for cigarettes and disappeared
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small flashlight
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
I have a lot of fond memories of cooking venison with my father when I was younger.
To this day, venison is deer to me.
I was playing football with my younger cousin earlier today
Unfortunately, I kicked it too hard and it broke the window.
We called the repair guy and, apparently when he came two hours later, the window was still in pane.
I didn't pick my nose when I was younger.
When I was younger, I used to walk the plank
My parents would always feed me alphabet soup when I was younger and they’d insist that I liked it
But I didn’t! All they were doing was putting words in my mouth!
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didn’t draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously
.....and that’s when I drew the line.
When I was younger, I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine.
As I got older, I realized it was just a phase.
When I was younger I wanted to play guitar really badly.
And after lots of hard work and practice, I now play the guitar really badly.
A couple on 60 years met a genie and they got 1 wish each The wife wished she’d travel the world so she did. The husband wanted a 30 years younger wife
When I was younger I had surgery in my groin area, I asked my dad what is wrong with my groin area?
There's nothing groin down there.
A Nine year old girl has gone missing after using moisturiser that makes you look 10 years younger
When I was younger, my Dad used to throw quarters at me whenever I acted stupidly.
He said, “Maybe that’ll knock some cents into you.”
My younger brother just hit me with this one.
providing context cause it caught me off guard which made it more funny.
Bro: If Pinocchio said his nose is about to grow, would it grow or would it not grow?
Me: I don’t know, you’ve created a paradox.
Bro: I created two doctors?
Aimed at a younger audience
My younger friends get annoyed with me when I post in italics.
I guess it's a bit too right-leaning for them.
I was having problems with anxiety when I was younger
So my parentso took me to a SIKEologist
Growing up I couldn’t do math unless I was sitting in someone’s lap. When I was younger it was never a problem finding someone that would let me sit on their lap, but now that I’m older...
This one time when I was still a kid, my younger sister got very mad at me for making silly noises. To show our parents that her ensuing fit of anger wasn't as annoying as my goofing off, my sister said,
"Well at least I'm not walking around the house going "Hurgerbgehbh blurgeblegh blurgega, hurr dee hurr, derr!"
To which my dad said,
"Yes you are".
I used to do these a lot when I was younger? Do you guys know any more so I can share with my kids?
http://i.imgur.com/1XdScio.png
What do you call José's younger brother?
When I was younger, people said I bore a strong resemblance to Nikola Tesla.
I would simply respond, “shocking isn’t it.”
Now that I’m older, I look more like Albert Einstein, relatively speaking
When I was younger, I wanted to work at a mirror store
It was a job I could really see myself doing
I'm jealous of people whose last name is Younger
They will never be older.
When I was younger I wanted to be the national limbo champion
I can see now I set the bar too low for myself.
When I was younger, I was obsessed with the difference between sines and cosines.
Turns out—-it was just a phase.
The doctor told me that I would have to get my younger cut out if I wanted to live.
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body.
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body ...
I confessed to my family today that, “When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped inside a woman’s body."
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a women’s body
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped inside a woman's body
A nine year old girl has disappeared after using a moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger!
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
