When I was younger I had to work in a cheap pizza shop to get by.
π︎ 34
π
︎ May 04 2021
When I was much younger, I asked my dad, "Can I use the lawnmower to make some extra money?"
"Sure, go ahead."
So, I sold it.π°
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 01 2021
My eldest wanted to know why I wouldn't lend him any of my tools, but I let his younger brother, the prodigal son, borrow whatever equipment he wants.
Simple, I said, the prodigal son returns...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
When I was younger, I felt like a man, trapped inside a woman body.
π︎ 218
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
The secret to looking younger....
....is telling people that you're older.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
An old man owned a dolphin and some children asked him why. The old man smiled and said, "When I was younger, my dreams were crushed, so I bought the dolphin because..."
"Buying him gave me a porpoise in life."
π︎ 27
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
π︎ 65
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
My younger brother is Russian.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
The younger generations may not get this one!
π︎ 46
π
︎ Apr 26 2020
I wish Disney+ had decided to make Grogu the younger sibling of Yoda.
Then he could be named Broda.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
My dad was a great magician when I was younger
He went out for cigarettes and disappeared
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small flashlight
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
I have a lot of fond memories of cooking venison with my father when I was younger.
To this day, venison is deer to me.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
I was playing football with my younger cousin earlier today
Unfortunately, I kicked it too hard and it broke the window.
We called the repair guy and, apparently when he came two hours later, the window was still in pane.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
I didn't pick my nose when I was younger.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
When I was younger, I used to walk the plank
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
My parents would always feed me alphabet soup when I was younger and theyβd insist that I liked it
But I didnβt! All they were doing was putting words in my mouth!
π︎ 65
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didnβt draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously
.....and thatβs when I drew the line.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
When I was younger, I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine.
As I got older, I realized it was just a phase.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jul 01 2020
When I was younger I wanted to play guitar really badly.
And after lots of hard work and practice, I now play the guitar really badly.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 16 2020
A couple on 60 years met a genie and they got 1 wish each The wife wished sheβd travel the world so she did. The husband wanted a 30 years younger wife
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
When I was younger I had surgery in my groin area, I asked my dad what is wrong with my groin area?
There's nothing groin down there.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Nov 19 2019
A Nine year old girl has gone missing after using moisturiser that makes you look 10 years younger
π︎ 64
π
︎ May 03 2019
When I was younger, my Dad used to throw quarters at me whenever I acted stupidly.
He said, βMaybe thatβll knock some cents into you.β
π︎ 348
π
︎ Jun 13 2018
My younger brother just hit me with this one.
providing context cause it caught me off guard which made it more funny.
Bro: If Pinocchio said his nose is about to grow, would it grow or would it not grow?
Me: I donβt know, youβve created a paradox.
Bro: I created two doctors?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
Aimed at a younger audience
π︎ 31
π
︎ May 03 2019
My younger friends get annoyed with me when I post in italics.
I guess it's a bit too right-leaning for them.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 27 2019
I was having problems with anxiety when I was younger
So my parentso took me to a SIKEologist
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
Growing up I couldnβt do math unless I was sitting in someoneβs lap. When I was younger it was never a problem finding someone that would let me sit on their lap, but now that Iβm older...
I canβt count on anyone
π︎ 27
π
︎ Aug 23 2019
This one time when I was still a kid, my younger sister got very mad at me for making silly noises. To show our parents that her ensuing fit of anger wasn't as annoying as my goofing off, my sister said,
"Well at least I'm not walking around the house going "Hurgerbgehbh blurgeblegh blurgega, hurr dee hurr, derr!"
To which my dad said,
"Yes you are".
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
I used to do these a lot when I was younger? Do you guys know any more so I can share with my kids?
http://i.imgur.com/1XdScio.png
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 28 2014
What do you call JosΓ©'s younger brother?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
When I was younger, people said I bore a strong resemblance to Nikola Tesla.
I would simply respond, βshocking isnβt it.β
Now that Iβm older, I look more like Albert Einstein, relatively speaking
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jul 01 2019
When I was younger, I wanted to work at a mirror store
It was a job I could really see myself doing
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jan 25 2019
I'm jealous of people whose last name is Younger
They will never be older.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 12 2019
When I was younger I wanted to be the national limbo champion
I can see now I set the bar too low for myself.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
When I was younger, I was obsessed with the difference between sines and cosines.
Turns outβ-it was just a phase.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 17 2019
The doctor told me that I would have to get my younger cut out if I wanted to live.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 23 2019
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a womanβs body.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body ...
π︎ 12k
π
︎ May 21 2019
I confessed to my family today that, βWhen I was younger, I felt like a man trapped inside a womanβs body."
π︎ 184
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a womenβs body
π︎ 28
π
︎ May 29 2019
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped inside a woman's body
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 23 2019
A nine year old girl has disappeared after using a moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger!
π︎ 66
π
︎ Nov 13 2018
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