I was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg once...

....sadly, she broke it off."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2021
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When I pulled up to the hardware store I saw a guy running away with a wooden panel. I got out the car and as i got closer to the store i saw two more guys running away with concrete posts. I said to my wife...

..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mitcheg3k
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith

but for the life of me I can't remember the name of his other leg.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/foxtrot-luv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2021
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I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.

It was clogged.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/In_the_end_there_was
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2021
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I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy

Polyurethane?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vantoch81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
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What was wrong with the wooden car?

It wooden go

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
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So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.

That would be something, now wooden tit?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/phx14_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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Why was the groom excited to take over his new brides cylindrical wooden rod factory

Because it was her dowelry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/explosivelydehiscent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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I dated a woman with a wooden leg.

It wasn't working out, so I broke it off. Sorry Peg.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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Another wooden ball

Would it kill the avocado makers to put in a decoder ring or a tin soldier every once in a while?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wayno007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.

I hope they let me join.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alawibaba
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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I don't know why it wooden't work
πŸ‘οΈŽ 161
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CoG_Omsin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
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I’ve bought my girlfriend a wooden leg for Christmas.

It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...

wooden tit?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 191
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aaaaasowenyaaa
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2021
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There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.

It wooden start.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MonkeyLord_11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
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It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dunkinbiskits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2020
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Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?

Exactly. Because they're damn good at it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnEvilSunBro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2021
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I started watching a really good show about how wooden ships are made

It’s riveting

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CuteBearLegs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
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Do you guys want to know what I put in the wooden box I made and threw in the ocean?

Never mind it’s a sea-crate....

(I made this up please don’t murder me)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 151
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DubsAli
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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I was going to make a joke about this mahogany bird, but that would be so immature...wooden tit.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrazyPenguin44
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
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I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
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Why is a wooden USB stick worthless?

Because it's all bark and no byte.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GameOnTheWay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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I once met a guy with a wooden leg named James.

I still wonder what he named his other leg.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Saosin713
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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French zombies are impervious to wooden stakes. You have to stab them with baguettes...

... which is a pain staking process.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cananbaum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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I asked my psychiatrist for an update on my phobia of becoming a wooden pole

She said, I'll keep you posted...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2020
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I went to sit down in my dads truck, but there were some wooden stands in the way. "What do I do?" I asked. He replied:

"Put the horses in the back." I hate the song but it made me laugh

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shromboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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You do realise that Vampires aren't real...

Unless you Count Dracula.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
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A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_methematician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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I saw a wooden post with writing on it today.

Must be a sign.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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Son: "Do you want the wooden one or the plastic one?"

Dad: *Getting into row boat* "either oar"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 139
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vdi_king
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
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You can't take a photo of a man with a wooden leg.

You really need a camera

πŸ‘οΈŽ 142
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2020
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Have you heard of this terrorist group using wooden weapons?

They're a splinter cell!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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I rented a car with a wooden engine today.

I tried repeatedly but it just wooden go anywhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheIntrovertedAuthor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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I think my sink is a little clogged
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PeacesOfTheWorld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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I shouldn't have put those wooden shoes in sink.

Now it's clogged.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/manuel_f_p
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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I got a wooden dog the other day

He's all bark and no bite

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoronCraft
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2020
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I used to have a girlfriend with a wooden leg...

I had to break it off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2020
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I bet this helicopter wooden fly
πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JuackRamRez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2020
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Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?

Because its non stick.

Source: my actual Dad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 574
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LippyHippy23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2019
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My kid doesn't want to chew on this 2x4

I wooden teether

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2021
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Did you hear about the car made of wooden wheels, body, and engine?

It wooden drive πŸ™

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Singer_Spectre
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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I bought a car that has a wooden engine, wooden tires, wooden steering wheel, and wooden seats.

Problem is it wooden start.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/amiradzim
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2020
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I once dated a girl with a wooden leg.

But then I broke it off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 91
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2021
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I was dating a girl with a wooden leg

but I broke it off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 57
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DaFunkJunkie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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Made a wooden car with a wooden engine only trouble was

It wooden go!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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I found a wooden shoe in my toilet the other day.

It was clogged.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karkat_vantas17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
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I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.

It was clogged

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/manlymanhood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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Did you guys hear about the wooden car?

It wooden move

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sanitizem8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2020
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