I was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg once...
....sadly, she broke it off."
When I pulled up to the hardware store I saw a guy running away with a wooden panel. I got out the car and as i got closer to the store i saw two more guys running away with concrete posts. I said to my wife...
..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"
I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith
but for the life of me I can't remember the name of his other leg.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
What was wrong with the wooden car?
So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.
That would be something, now wooden tit?
Why was the groom excited to take over his new brides cylindrical wooden rod factory
Because it was her dowelry.
I dated a woman with a wooden leg.
It wasn't working out, so I broke it off. Sorry Peg.
Another wooden ball
Would it kill the avocado makers to put in a decoder ring or a tin soldier every once in a while?
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I don't know why it wooden't work
I’ve bought my girlfriend a wooden leg for Christmas.
It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler.
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.
It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?
Exactly. Because they're damn good at it!
I started watching a really good show about how wooden ships are made
Do you guys want to know what I put in the wooden box I made and threw in the ocean?
Never mind it’s a sea-crate....
(I made this up please don’t murder me)
I was going to make a joke about this mahogany bird, but that would be so immature...wooden tit.
I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
Why is a wooden USB stick worthless?
Because it's all bark and no byte.
I once met a guy with a wooden leg named James.
I still wonder what he named his other leg.
French zombies are impervious to wooden stakes. You have to stab them with baguettes...
... which is a pain staking process.
I asked my psychiatrist for an update on my phobia of becoming a wooden pole
She said, I'll keep you posted...
I went to sit down in my dads truck, but there were some wooden stands in the way. "What do I do?" I asked. He replied:
"Put the horses in the back."
I hate the song but it made me laugh
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.
Did he ride it? No. It wooden start
I saw a wooden post with writing on it today.
Son: "Do you want the wooden one or the plastic one?"
Dad: *Getting into row boat* "either oar"
You can't take a photo of a man with a wooden leg.
Have you heard of this terrorist group using wooden weapons?
I rented a car with a wooden engine today.
I tried repeatedly but it just wooden go anywhere.
I think my sink is a little clogged
I shouldn't have put those wooden shoes in sink.
I got a wooden dog the other day
He's all bark and no bite
I used to have a girlfriend with a wooden leg...
I bet this helicopter wooden fly
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Source: my actual Dad.
My kid doesn't want to chew on this 2x4
Did you hear about the car made of wooden wheels, body, and engine?
I bought a car that has a wooden engine, wooden tires, wooden steering wheel, and wooden seats.
Problem is it wooden start.
I once dated a girl with a wooden leg.
I was dating a girl with a wooden leg
Made a wooden car with a wooden engine only trouble was
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet the other day.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
Did you guys hear about the wooden car?
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