I was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg once...
....sadly, she broke it off."
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Apr 17 2021
When I pulled up to the hardware store I saw a guy running away with a wooden panel. I got out the car and as i got closer to the store i saw two more guys running away with concrete posts. I said to my wife...
..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Apr 15 2021
I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith
but for the life of me I can't remember the name of his other leg.
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Feb 20 2021
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
ποΈ 50
π
οΈ Feb 04 2021
I canβt decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that sheβs become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jan 31 2021
What was wrong with the wooden car?
ποΈ 53
π
οΈ Dec 28 2020
So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.
That would be something, now wooden tit?
ποΈ 24
π
οΈ Jan 11 2021
Why was the groom excited to take over his new brides cylindrical wooden rod factory
Because it was her dowelry.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Jan 18 2021
I dated a woman with a wooden leg.
It wasn't working out, so I broke it off. Sorry Peg.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jan 11 2021
Another wooden ball
Would it kill the avocado makers to put in a decoder ring or a tin soldier every once in a while?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jan 26 2021
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Dec 30 2020
I don't know why it wooden't work
ποΈ 161
π
οΈ Sep 05 2020
Iβve bought my girlfriend a wooden leg for Christmas.
Itβs not her main present, just a stocking filler.
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Dec 18 2020
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
ποΈ 191
π
οΈ May 08 2021
There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.
ποΈ 42
π
οΈ Aug 21 2020
Itβs got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
ποΈ 4k
π
οΈ Feb 05 2020
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?
Exactly. Because they're damn good at it!
ποΈ 88
π
οΈ Apr 05 2021
I started watching a really good show about how wooden ships are made
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Oct 16 2020
Do you guys want to know what I put in the wooden box I made and threw in the ocean?
Never mind itβs a sea-crate....
(I made this up please donβt murder me)
ποΈ 151
π
οΈ Jul 19 2020
I was going to make a joke about this mahogany bird, but that would be so immature...wooden tit.
ποΈ 32
π
οΈ May 20 2020
I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Aug 28 2020
Why is a wooden USB stick worthless?
Because it's all bark and no byte.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Nov 10 2020
I once met a guy with a wooden leg named James.
I still wonder what he named his other leg.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Oct 17 2020
French zombies are impervious to wooden stakes. You have to stab them with baguettes...
... which is a pain staking process.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Oct 04 2020
I asked my psychiatrist for an update on my phobia of becoming a wooden pole
She said, I'll keep you posted...
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Oct 31 2020
I went to sit down in my dads truck, but there were some wooden stands in the way. "What do I do?" I asked. He replied:
"Put the horses in the back."
I hate the song but it made me laugh
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Nov 18 2020
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
ποΈ 11k
π
οΈ Dec 02 2020
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.
Did he ride it? No. It wooden start
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Aug 08 2020
I saw a wooden post with writing on it today.
ποΈ 26
π
οΈ Sep 22 2020
Son: "Do you want the wooden one or the plastic one?"
Dad: *Getting into row boat* "either oar"
ποΈ 139
π
οΈ May 27 2020
You can't take a photo of a man with a wooden leg.
ποΈ 142
π
οΈ Mar 14 2020
Have you heard of this terrorist group using wooden weapons?
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Sep 12 2020
I rented a car with a wooden engine today.
I tried repeatedly but it just wooden go anywhere.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Sep 16 2020
I think my sink is a little clogged
ποΈ 4k
π
οΈ Nov 10 2020
I shouldn't have put those wooden shoes in sink.
ποΈ 37
π
οΈ Jun 19 2020
I got a wooden dog the other day
He's all bark and no bite
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Feb 17 2020
I used to have a girlfriend with a wooden leg...
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Aug 23 2020
I bet this helicopter wooden fly
ποΈ 43
π
οΈ Feb 22 2020
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Source: my actual Dad.
ποΈ 574
π
οΈ Nov 25 2019
My kid doesn't want to chew on this 2x4
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ May 10 2021
Did you hear about the car made of wooden wheels, body, and engine?
ποΈ 17
π
οΈ May 26 2020
I bought a car that has a wooden engine, wooden tires, wooden steering wheel, and wooden seats.
Problem is it wooden start.
ποΈ 35
π
οΈ Feb 26 2020
I once dated a girl with a wooden leg.
ποΈ 91
π
οΈ Feb 16 2021
I was dating a girl with a wooden leg
ποΈ 57
π
οΈ Oct 27 2020
Made a wooden car with a wooden engine only trouble was
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Sep 29 2020
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet the other day.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Nov 02 2020
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
ποΈ 28
π
οΈ Jul 28 2020
Did you guys hear about the wooden car?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Apr 05 2020
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