Is there anyone else that still wets the bed at night and wants to talk about it?
I'm looking to start a pee-er support group
Boss: "what's that?", Me: (with much enthusiasm) "it's a SPACE BAR!!!!!" *wets myself laughing*, Boss: "...................." *delivers withering look* "are you allowed to stick things on your laptop?", Me: *dies inside at another badly landed pun*
What do you say to a baby who speaks French and wets his diaper?
European man
(Courtesy of my husband)
I accidentally stepped in wet cement in the front walkway of this building because I was in a rush to get to my first job interview
I'm pretty sure I left a bad impression.
I built a dock for my fishing pond out of hickory wood. It's great, until it gets wet and becomes...
A thief fell into wet cement.
He became a hardened criminal.
If you're dreaming that you are peeing in your sleep and you wet the bed, would that be a dream come true?
Some people don’t think grass be wet in the morning.
What's the opposite of a wet thunder lizard?
A drynosaur!
Nobody in my house thought this was funny the first time. Or the twenty third time.
Bruce Lee once noticed that the grass in his garden was wet, even though he hadn’t watered it, and it hadn’t rained recently.
Why is Billy Joel’s laundry still wet?
He Didn’t Start The Dryer.
A lady friend wanted breast augmentation. She could only afford to do one side at a time. She entered the wet t-shirt contest...
She came in first and third.
I don't mean to brag but ....
it takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
I used to think I didn’t need to eat healthy as long as I drank a ton of water every day
Then I realized I was just diluting myself.
Pretty sure that's not how you carpool.
What happens if you shake hands with a wet robot?
It might be a shocking experience
what's a foot long and slippery?
Whenever I undress in the bathroom…
What starts with a w and ends with a t.
...
…I’ll see myself out.
What always starts with W and ends with T?
My dad broke his finger today while working in the coal mine
He’ll be ok though, it was just a minor injury.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
How does an ant come out of the black sea?
Spring is here!!
I got so excited I wet my plants!
Told my friend about my problems today. He said "You know, it could be worse. You could be trapped in a dark, wet hole in the ground."
What did the judge say to the kid trying to enter the pants wetting contest?
If we are all descendants from Adam and Eve
Does that mean we are all a part of the Addams family?
What is Aquaman’s Twitter Handle?
What do you call The Rock when it rains?
Why do scuba divers always dive backwards?
Because if they dive forward they’ll hit the boat.
If I drop a yellow hat in the Red Sea, what does it become?
Wife and I walking on the beach while waiting for our anniversary dinner, my jandals (NZ for flipflops) full of wet sand).
Wife: "Your jandals are done."
Me: "Are you sure they're not sandals."
We didn’t want to believe Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when he came home, all the signs were there.
Why did the policeman go to the Lebanese restaurant?
He was following up reports of a possible hummus side
After this storm, I will no longer be able to make jokes about the drought in California
There goes my dry sense of humor
People think grass don’t be wet in the morning
Why was Billy Joel's laundry still wet?
He didn't start the dryer.
What always starts with w and ends with t?
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