It was so hot & humid, even the bee's perm became unmanageable...

...now she's a frizzbee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I knew i shouldn't have tried to fry that humid air.

It was a mist-steak

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RassRhoRle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today... She wrote it on a sticky note
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I want to buy a second NBA team in Miami.

At the press conference, when they ask me what the team name is, I’ll say, β€œit’s not the Heat. It’s the Humidity.”

(Credit to Brian Regan)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Munger88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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So I used to collect those little cardboard discs with pictures on...

One time I took a bunch of them with me to Abu Dhabi and while most of them were fine one behaved very weirdly, splitting and separating like it was in the humid air of the tropics. Very strange. I even wrote a letter about it to a listings magazine, which began:

"What's On, I commend to your attention the curious incident of the POG in the dry clime."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoneKharnivore
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Moisturize the air!

As fast as humidly possible.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cross_beaux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Autocorrect was my pal on this one

My girlfriend was texting me from a different city and said "The weather app said it would be cold today yet it's ducking 73 out here and I'm wearing a sweater."

I hit her with the "Geese babe, that seriously isn't pheasant at all..."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ouipareils
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2015
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Who takes care of saunas?

Humid Resources

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vernal59
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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What do you call a wet song?

A humid-ditty.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/future_ghost_0921
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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Did you hear the NBA is opening another franchise in Miami?

It’s not the Heat... it’s the Humidity!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonix7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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My Jewish friend got his son the best 13th birthday gift.

So his son plays baseball and his mitt was in rough condition. They make these little boxes for baseball mitts that put out heat, humidity, and massage the mitt slightly to keep it in good condition. They're pretty small and can fit on a kitchen counter top. It's best to keep them near the sink to refill the water reservoir when it gets low. It's helpful if it's like right above the sink. My friend had put his on the bar behind the sink.

It was seriously the nicest bar mitt spa I had ever seen!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJordanCarroll
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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My friends daughter who is 5 got me today

She said her and her family where going down to Florida when I said. "WOW that's cool what brings you down there?"

When she replied "A plane."

.... she got me good.

πŸ‘︎ 366
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vinyeatsyu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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Two people are having sex in Alabama and they begin to sweat. What is the weather report?

Relative humidity.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Car_radio21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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Office dads...

Today it was hot and humid in our office and the AC wouldn't kick on so we were crowded around an oscillating pedestal fan... Our boss walked up and said:

"What is this? A fan club?"

I looked at him and said,

"This IS our biggest fan."

Others followed, but I'll let you all join in.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lujaamko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
🚨︎ report
I had a shower

I had a shower last night, and the humidity in the room made the floor a little slippery. As I was towelling off, the mop in the corner slipped and grazed my leg.

All I could think was "That almost cleaned me up."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesterfraud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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